A Fighter Pilot's Story
An Inspirational Journey From Failure to Success
by Mark Laverdiere
Copyright 2011 Mark Laverdiere
Smashwords Edition
Version 2011.10.000001
Photos by Mark Laverdiere
License Notes: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, or exploited in any form an/or format including photocopies, recordings, or other electronic or mechanical methods, whether now known, or hereafter developed, without the express, prior written permission of the author, except for brief quotations contained in reviews and/or other noncommercial uses permitted under the Canadian and United States copyright laws.
For permission requests, contact the author at http://www.FighterPilotStory.com
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PREFACE
This is the story of my life as a Fighter Pilot, with all the failures and successes I experienced that were required for me to ultimately achieve my dream of flying jets. As I sit down to write this book, I reflect upon the great number of things that occurred along the way, which at the time seemed quite unpleasant, but I now realize were all required to bring me to the point of writing this book. I can honestly say I am thankful for living through each and every one of those unpleasant experiences because everything in my past - the good, the bad, and the ugly - has molded me into the person I am today.
I have been blessed with the opportunity to serve my country as an Air Force Pilot for 20 years. Better yet, I have had the opportunity to learn from, and train with, some of the best Fighter Pilots in the world. During that time I have come to realize that it is not always what happens in the air that defines a great Fighter Pilot; rather, a majority of our success comes from how we deal with life's challenges on the ground as well. I decided to write this book so I could share this perspective as a man, a husband, a father, and a Fighter Pilot.
This book is also an expression of gratitude for the gift I was given to fly. It is an expression of gratitude to every person who took the time to believe in me and guide me throughout my Air Force career. There have been a number of great leaders who I tried to model myself after, both on the ground and in the air. I realize now that my success story is, in essence, their success story Their belief in me allowed me to believe in myself. Once that happened, only the SKY was the limit!
My ultimate goal in this book is to share with others that it is okay to fail. In fact, it is quite normal to do so. Believe you me I speak from a lot of experience in that department. However, the key to my success has always been how I have responded and arisen after each and every failure. It is my wish that people from all walks of life can take a part of my story and apply it to their own lives. I am certainly not saying that my life's story should be the model for success. Nothing could be further from the truth. To be sure, there are countless success stories out there that do not have the drama that I chose to bring into my life. However, I feel that it is important for me to be transparent in telling my story for one principal reason: Readers will see that ordinary people can do extraordinary things! My goal here is to inspire all. But, even if only one person who reads this book is inspired to take action because of it, I have succeeded in my goal with this book.
This book is not intended to make the reader want to become a Fighter Pilot nor dissuade them from doing so. To me, being a Fighter Pilot was all that I ever wanted to be, but it certainly is not the ideal profession for everyone. It requires years and years of training, hard work, and dedication. And, to that end, most Fighter Pilots develop a mentality to work hard...play harder." It is the motto by which most live by, and, it has a significant effect on the loved ones around you. Know this: being a Fighter Pilot is not all that Hollywood has made it out to be in movies like "Top Gun." But, there is one thing for sure—there is no better office space in the world than in the cockpit of a Fighter jet!
This book is actually a story of many stories. Some will make you laugh; some will make you ask yourself "What the HELL were you thinking?" Collectively, it is a story of my journey from a person who had given up on himself as a young man, to a man who became a world class Fighter Pilot and Aerobatic Formation Pilot.
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ACKOWLEDGEMENTS
There are many dedicated pilots and family members who I will always be grateful to for all they have done for me. Without them I wouldn't have successfully obtained my goals. This list is NOT inclusive of all those that have helped me, or touched my life along the way, but I wanted to acknowledge a few of those that did: Lt. Col (ret'd) "Thorney" Thorneycroft, Gen "Stammer" St-Amand, Col "Norm" Balfe, Lt. Col "Hammy" Hamilton, Gen. "Stitch" Foster, Lt. Col (ret'd) "Scratch" Mitchell, Maj (ret'd) "Loaf" Hartzell, Maj (ret'd) "Barney" Reid, Maj (ret'd) "Woody" Woodfield, Lt. Col (reed) "Burner" Byrne, Maj "Custer" Miller, Maj "Big Mac" McNaughton, Capt. (ret'd) "Bender" Bend, Lt.Col "Deuce" Brophy, Capt (ret'd) "Krusti" Whelan, Maj "Squish" Umrysh, Maj (ret'd) "Noodle" Eichel, Maj (ret'd) "Hoss" McRury, Lt. Col "Crack" Carter, Capt "Sugar" Lecaine, Lt Col "Fuji" Day, Capt ."Dilly" Dalamore, Capt. "Laser" Glaeser, Lt.Col "Poot" McLeod, Lt.Col "Frog" Greenough, Maj "Little Mac" MacMillan, Capt. "Piggy" James, Capt (ret'd) "JackAss" Miles-Ingram, Maj (ret'd) "Marv" McCauley, Shane "BA" Pope, Dave "Choke" Douglas, Capt "Millhouse" Selby (deceased), Capt "Woodboot" Vandenbos (deceased), Capt "Nasty" Naismith (deceased), Capt "Deuce" McCaughey (deceased), Capt "May" Mitchell (deceased), Mike "Mic" McFayden (deceased), my Mother Gladys Wilson (deceased), my Father and Step Mother Richard and Shirley LaVerdiere who have always given me love and support; and, lastly my beautiful wife Carol and my twin 8 year old children, Kaden and Quinlan, who inspire me on a daily basis to become a better person. There are many others who have inspired me and given me so much over the years and I feel enormous gratitude to each and every one of you. Thank you to all; for without your influence on my life I hesitate to think were I might be today.
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DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to all past and current serving men and women of the Allied Forces who selflessly give of themselves so that we can live in peace. There is no greater sacrifice than to lie down your life for the greater good of freedom and we all owe so much to those that have departed this world while serving their country In particular, I dedicate this book to the incredible men and women that make up the combined Armed Forces of the United States of America, The United Kingdom, Australia, and Canada, for whom I have always been impressed with their professionalism and dedication while working and training with them all on numerous occasions over the years. A deep, and heart felt, THANK YOU goes out to those members who made the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good of peace; may they REST IN PEACE.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1: You will NEVER be a pilot!
Chapter 3: An Officer and A Gentleman
Chapter 4: Air Force Jet Wings
Chapter 5: A Nightmare returns
Chapter 6: The Effects of Sept 11, 2001
Chapter 7: Jet Team Aerobatics
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Chapter 1
"YOU WILL NEVER BE A PILOT!"
Although told to me some 25 years ago, I remember this statement as if it was made to me only hours ago. It has been burned into my soul since I was a 17 year old bright eyed teenager applying to the Air Force to become a pilot. It really provided me with the fire I needed to prove to myself, and others, that an ordinary 17 year old kid could do extraordinary things with his life in the air. But, my passion for flying didn't begin when I was a 17 year old kid trying to enlist in the Air Force. It was much earlier than that.
My love for flying began when I was a little boy My father was a private pilot and owned a Cessna 172 that he flew on occasion for recreation. I was very fortunate that my father had a passion for flying. In fact, his passion rubbed off on me the very first time he took me airborne with him. In fact, it only took one flight to catch the "flying bug." From that point forward my whole life revolved around the fact that I was going to be a pilot. At the time, and for quite a few years to come, I had no idea of how I was going to achieve my goal but I just knew I would. That goal became tunnel vision for me. I dreamt, thought about, and planned for almost nothing else as I grew into a teenager. Well...almost nothing else. As I reached puberty, and grew into a teenager there was one other thing that was constantly on my mind (and almost de-railed my pilot plans) - girls!!
That's right...girls. How they made me stray; but only for a relatively brief part of my adolescence. That burning, overriding, penultimate goal of becoming a Fighter Pilot won out. It burned deeper than my teenaged wonderment about girls. I knew in 1986, at the young age of 16, that I was not only going to be a pilot, I was going to be a Fighter Pilot. Yes, in case you are wondering, 1986 was the year the movie "Top Gun" hit the theatres. After watching the movie no less than a thousand times, I had grandiose illusions of being the Hollywood version of a Fighter Pilot. To me, it was simple. My father and I had been to a few air shows over the years and I had seen the Fighter jets show off their power and speed many times. I figured with that experience alone, I had it all figured out! Admittedly, pretty naïve. At 16 I felt like I had my entire life already figured out. All I had to do was go through the motions and all my dreams would be handed to me on a silver platter... or so I thought! Little did I know, that although I had experienced some challenging situations up to that point in my life, I was about to receive a rude awaking and life lesson that would send me into a tail spin from which I would almost not recover.
MY FIRST VISIT TO THE RECRUITING OFFICE
In my graduating year from high school, I decided that the time was right to contact my local recruiting office and put them on notice that I was going to join the Air Force to become a Fighter Pilot. As you can imagine, in the years that followed the release of "Top Gun," the recruiting offices from all across the free world, and in particular the USA and Canada, were swamped with people just like me who had dreams of becoming Fighter Pilots.
I am sure that the recruiters appreciated the cocky attitude that I walked into their office with as well. I had the swagger and the "lingo" down pat. With my "wanna-be" attitude, they probably had side bets about whether I would even make it past the front desk Officer in charge before my application was even looked at. The application process to become a pilot in the Air Force is quite arduous and lengthy.
Before the Air Force even hands you an application, or wastes one penny on you to see if you have the "right stuff," you have to do a quick interview with a recruiter at your local recruiting office. For those that don't pass the initial interview, they don't even see an application. As I sat in the hallway waiting for my turn to interview, I noticed that the fairly large group of young people also waiting was just like me. It hit me then and there, and quite suddenly, "you're not the only one who wants to become a pilot." I thought to myself, if there are this many people in this office today applying to become a pilot, how many are there in the other recruiting offices across the country? How many will be here tomorrow doing the same thing? I know that it sounds odd, but prior to that experience, I always thought that it was rare for someone to want to be a pilot. It was just not something that the other kids in my hometown talked about doing when they grew up. This was the first time in my life that I experienced a lot of self-doubt. I felt insecure and weak, rather than empowered as I did when I decided to become a pilot.
Suddenly, I snapped back to reality and heard my name called for my interview. As I sat down in the "hot seat," a big burly man, with a terrifying presence about him, walked in and sat down. I felt my stomach hit the floor and when I went to introduce myself I thought I was going to throw up all over the big mahogany desk that separated me from this military GI Joe character!
But, I reminded myself that all I could do was just be myself. The interview started with a brief Q and A on the basics - my high school marks; extra-curricular activities and the like. Then, he turned, stared directly into my eyes, piercing my soul and asked why I wanted to join the military I don't know what came over me, but I recall thinking that this giant of a man didn't want to hear the same story that the other 35 people before me had just told him. So, I decided that a little humor would be a good idea.
I honestly don't recall my exact answer but it had something to do with how I had Top Gun memorized and I figured that if Maverick and Ice Man could be Fighter pilots than I could as well. My gamble worked, because GI Joe actually broke into a smile. From that point on in my interview, I felt far more comfortable; I had established a connection with the brute. At the end of the interview process I was given the opportunity to continue on with the application process. I walked out that day with two very important things; a newfound confidence, and my application forms. Finally, I was off to the races.
THE APPLICATION AND MY STELLAR ESSAY
The application process itself involves a lot of writing and document exchange, including pages and pages of forms to fill out; school transcripts to submit; letters of reference from teachers and other community leaders. That part of the process was fairly easy and straightforward. But, the next few steps were more daunting.
Before given the chance to attend an Aircrew Selection Center (where the Air Force puts all pilot applicants through a full 3 days of examinations and evaluations), I had to return to the recruiting office for a second, more formal, interview. I quickly decided that I would lose the smart-ass" humor approach, because the purpose of this interview was to determine if I deserved a chance to attend the Aircrew Selection Center. In short, there was a lot more on the line. Looking back, I think I made a smart decision. I took it seriously, and was fully prepared. I put together a very thick presentation binder that had my letters of reference, high school transcripts and a very lengthy essay I wrote about why I wanted to join the Air Force and become a pilot. I thought my essay was a literary masterpiece; but when the interviewing Officer started to scan my essay she almost laughed out loud. From her reaction, I knew she was being kind when she told me how "original" my essay was. I assumed at the time that was her way of saying that I was definitely not about to win a Pulitzer.
Further into the interview, I thought that it would be a good idea to spell out exactly what it took to be a Fighter pilot and how I had already mastered all of the skills that I had spelled out in my essay. Skills such as: confidence (that bordered on arrogance), amazing hand eye coordination, Superman like vision, and the ability to problem solve and overcome any obstacle that I may encounter. Again, at 16 years old, I had life completely figured out and I KNEW exactly what the Air Force was looking for in their pilots.
I am happy to say that although my essay was a little "over the top," I was given the opportunity to attend the Aircrew Selection Center and I was booked for my testing the following month. I don't recall what the Officer's name was that conducted the formal interview, but I sure would like to meet with her again and thank her for giving me the chance to become a pilot. With my brilliant essay, and my know-it-all attitude, I think I was on the verge of a recommendation from her that I choose a different career path that day.
THE AIRCREW SELECTION CENTER
The whole concept behind sending applicants to a weeklong evaluation center is to examine a potential pilot's intellectual ability and physical ability to become a pilot. Candidates are not only tested on their ability to do math and other problem solving scenarios, they are also evaluated on their basic flying ability by use of a flight simulator. Nationally, all potential candidates are sent to one Aircrew Selection Center to evaluate their pilot potential. Each testing session at the aircrew selection center was comprised of approximately 40 young people from across the country and from all walks of life.
The selection process has changed a great deal over the years; however, in the late 80's (when I was there), there were approximately 12 hours worth of examinations - from memorization, basic math, number to symbol problems, word association, and multi tasking problem examinations. Significantly, these examinations were all timed and you were expected to work as quickly as possible without making any mistakes. The problems that were presented were not, in and of themselves difficult; but the timed nature of the testing put added pressure on the applicants. After a few hundred of the same type of questions in a 60 minute period my head started to spin and it took a great deal of focus to remain calm, working as accurately and quickly as possible. The tests were designed to weed out the candidates, either through lack of knowledge, or succumbing to the time pressure. Upon reflection, it is my opinion that the evaluators wanted to see if I would just give up, or if I could pick up from where I made a mistake and keep on going. After each examination session, all candidates were gathered in a waiting area to await the next exam or event. There never seemed to be very much talking in these waiting rooms; most everyone seemed to use the time to size up the competition. I did as well.
As I looked around the room I noticed that a majority of the people there seemed to have the same cocky arrogance that I had with only one difference. Everyone else seemed to be more "refined" than I felt I was. For example, I remember thinking that the guy next to me had a better suit than I did; and the girl across from me looked so smart I thought she should be applying for medical school and not pilot training! My self-doubt grew because we were briefed, in advance, that on average only two or three candidates out of a group of 40 would be successful at a typical aircrew selection session, I found myself thinking about how in "Top Gun" Goose taunted Ice Man with his line, "No, No.... there's 2 O's in Goose Boys." All the while wondering whom in the group was going to be successful!
On day three, all of the exams were complete, and I finally had my chance to show the evaluators that I had the "Right Stuff". The unfortunate part for me was that this particular flight simulator was unlike any other I had seen before. When I walked into the dark dome of a room, I noticed that the walls of this "Star Wars" sphere had been painted with funny objects. There was a lighthouse tower immediately in front of the toy airplane and as the horizon went around the dome I saw other objects like a ship, and a farmhouse that followed along an artificial horizon that was painted on the wall. It would be an understatement to say that the flight simulators of today would make this thing look like a Commodore 64 computer.
I was told to "jump in", to the little open cockpit plane (similar to the kind of airplane you would find in a typical mall for a small child to ride on), and after a few minutes of basic instruction from the instructor, I was given a few minutes to "get a feel for it" by flying around and playing with the different controls. The simulator had three planes of motion, pitch, yaw and roll. The evaluations were broken down into three separate tests.
The first test consisted of the simulator having the pitch and roll controls locked and allowing only the yaw function to work. The crazy thing about this simulator was that I was instructed in advance, not to use the yoke to turn the plane from side to side; I could only use my feet to turn it by pressing on the rudders. Normal airplanes, like my father's Cessna, would generally use the yoke, or control stick, to bank the airplane in order to get it to turn. I had to quickly adapt to this new way of flying on the spot, so I decided to completely trust in what the instructor was telling me. I proceeded to press on the right rudder to turn the plane to the ship and then center the rudders to stop with the nose of my little toy airplane on the ship. The controls were extremely sensitive and I assumed were designed that way on purpose. After a few minutes of turning from the lighthouse to the ship and back again, the instructor then unlocked the pitch controls and I was told to do the same drill of turning from the lighthouse to the farmhouse with my feet while keeping the airplane perfectly flat on the horizon with my control yoke. The control yoke was also very sensitive. In fact, trying to prevent the nose of the airplane from going nose high and nose low was like riding a bucking bronco at a rodeo. It was all I could do to not let my toy airplane hit the stops of the mechanical locks when the instructor first unlocked the control yoke. But this was no toy.
After a few moments of complete terror, I managed to get a feel for this little beast of a flight simulator, and successfully completed the instructions given to me. This led me to the grand finale of taming the skies in my new little "pocket rocket."
I could see the smirk on the instructor's face as he explained to me how he was going to now unlock the roll controls of the simulator. He continued to explain that he now wanted me to keep my little wings perfectly level on the horizon using the control yoke. If the plane started to roll right I was instructed to turn the control yoke to the left, like a steering wheel in a car, to correct the bank of the airplane and get it back to level. I am sure the instructor witnessed a large number of candidates lose control of the airplane at this part of the evaluation because when he looked at me, I could sense that he expected me to fail and let the airplane crash by hitting the control stops. I am not going to lie, when he first unlocked all three controls I felt like I was balancing a pogo stick on top of a bowling ball. Never mind trying to turn to the dam lighthouse, which, by now I just wanted to shoot with my little fake gun. After the unlock, it was all I could do to keep my wings level and my nose on the horizon. After a few tense moments I gathered my composure and gained the confidence to attempt a turn. It only took a few seconds before I realized, "HEY I CAN DO THIS!" A huge smile spread across my face. At that moment I KNEW I was going to be a pilot. Sometimes in life it only takes a little bit of success to plant the seed of bigger successes. Once I realized I could control this unruly little bastard of a flight simulator I started to get a little cocky I started to do my turns to the farmhouse and the ship a little faster. By the end of the evaluation I found myself making my stops more aggressive and crisp. And, yes, I can proudly say that I did not crash the simulator even once.
Now that the testing was over all I had to do was await the results. The waiting area was filled with nervous anticipation as one by one my fellow candidates re-entered following their simulator evaluation. I overheard things like, "how did it go?" and responses like, "good, I only crashed 4 times!" My confidence continued to grow and grow with each admission of a crash by the others. Yet, I still had butterflies in my stomach, because I knew there were no guarantees. After most of the candidates had returned to the waiting room, it grew deafly quiet. It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.