THE 5
STEPS
TO CHANGING
YOUR LIFE
JOHN A. ANDREWS
Copyright
© 2007 by John A. Andrews
ISBN 978-1-4196-7018-3
Cover Art: Job “Jobie” Bakama
Cover Photo: Tracy Olson
Photo: Adrian Carr
All rights reserved.
The 5 Steps to Changing Your Life
The sources of our drinking water are always heavily guarded and protected from intrusion and contaminants. People protect their bodies from the weather and other elements. And yet, few take the time to protect their thought source — the mind.
Imagine your best friend comes over to visit one day, and in his hands are two heavy bags. You offer him a seat, and then sit on your recliner and adjust it to a comfortable position. “What’s in the bags?” you ask. He immediately opens one of them and deposits its contents, full of grime and filth, onto your nice clean carpet. As your nostrils react to the stench, he opens the other bag. Do you encourage him to dump more contaminants into your habitat? Of course not!
So, consider this example in terms of your mind. How do you treat the situation if a friend dumps garbage into your thought source? Do you say, “Thank you very much for the pollutants; could you please deposit some more?” or do you put the breaks on his toxin distribution extravaganza?
- John A. Andrews
Table of Contents
CHAPTER:
1 CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS…………………………………………….1
SUB-TOPICS
Discarded Thoughts
Lessons from Mom
Turning Thoughts into Reality
Believe it, Conceive it
The Will to Succeed
Thoughts Left in the Recycle Bin
Used Thoughts
Thinking Outside the Box
Protecting Your Thought Source
The Power of Thought
2 CHANGE YOUR WORDS………………………………………………….18
SUB-TOPICS
You Get What You Say
What You Say to Your Kids
What You Say to Your Spouse
What You Say to Yourself
Changing What You Say
3 CHANGE YOUR ACTIONS……………………………………...31
SUB-TOPICS
Tomorrow People
Become a Crusader
Chart Your Course
The Negative Opinions of Others
4 CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER………………………………………….39
SUB-TOPICS
Your Character Defines You
Developing Passion and Purpose
Getting Back on Offense
Dream Bigger
Nine Key Points to Realizing Your Dream
Vision is the Key
Develop a Magnetic Personality
Develop Friendships
Mom’s Undying Love
Lead by Example
Become a Winner
5 CHANGE YOUR WORLD………………………………………………….58
NOTES………………………………………………………………………………...66
This book is dedicated to my mother, Elaine Louisa Andrews, who lived a life of dedication and service to her church and community, and to my three sons: Jonathan, Jefferri and Jamison, who keep me filled with passion and purpose.
Introduction
Martin Luther King Jr., one of the greatest dreamers who ever lived, declared: “Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."1
I’m in my forties, and as you might imagine, scores of individuals have stepped into my life: some for a reason, some for a season and others for a lifetime. Some have talked the talk, some have walked the walk, and others have done both.
Each brought with them a reflection of the experiences — both good and bad — they’ve had along life’s way. They weren’t born the person they grew to become. Rather, day-by-day and year-by-year, they acquired their personal definition from the books they read and the people with whom they associated.
There’s truth to this maxim: “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” If you hang out with bank robbers you could end up driving the getaway car, and if you associate with pigs, you’ll soon be rolling in the mud. Kids who wind up in gangs join them primarily to fulfill a need for community, and soon, they prey on society to support that community and attain identity within the group. Through con-version to Christianity, though, a gang-banger can dust himself off to lead a church or become a mentor to struggling youth.
Paul, once a persecutor of Christians, encountered a changed life on the road to Damascus when struck by a bright light from heaven. Following three days of blindness, he regained his sight by the hand of a disciple named Ananias, and immediately turned his life around, preaching Jesus as the Son of God (Acts 9:1-20).
So, yes, you can change your life and, yes, you can become the person you desire to become. Is it going to be easy? Probably not; effective change is not a Jack and the Beanstalk scenario. It’s more like a seasonal transition. During autumn, leaves die and fall to the ground before winter steps in, and like the seasons, change is a process. Real change doesn’t happen over night.
Becoming who you want to become is going to take work, as does raising a child, building a successful marriage, getting a degree or mastering a craft. Is it possible? It has been done. Can you do it? Only if you think you can. Will you lift yourself up by your own boot straps? Leaders aren’t born; they are made. Is change worth the effort? Real change starts on the inside. “You cannot travel within and stand still without.”2 Your greatest achievement was at first, and for some time, just a thought.
One thing is for sure: If you grasp and apply these five steps that I’m about to give you, not only will you climb to insurmountable heights in your life and career, but you’ll also have more joy, more friends, more love, more money, more passion and a deep sense of spiritual and intellectual satisfaction.
As your guide, it’s imperative that I prepare you with simple guidelines. Upon receiving the idea to write this book, inspirational thoughts flooded my mind, allowing me to complete its first draft in one week. To get the most out of it, you need passion, blended with a burning desire to change your life.
If you’re ready to take on the world, you should read this book in its entirety before you go to bed. Do not create a dam; as a stream of water desires to reach the ocean, so train yourself to do likewise. Once you’ve finished reading, re-read the five steps as a refresher course. I’ll see you at the summit of life’s staircase.
The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in its
egg; and in the highest vision of the soul
a waking angel stirs.
— James Allen
1
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
According to the great philosopher James Allen, “Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools by which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.”1
What is thought? Thought is a mental action that influences the world around us. Much like we see electricity at work, we see manifestations of thought everywhere. It functions as a sort of wireless electri-city. Thought is revealed in the actions of children, adults and animals. It acts as a terrific force with unlimited power.
If you are reading this book in a room or anywhere outdoors within a stone’s throw from civilization, take a look around. You’ll realize that you’re looking at objects — including the book in your hands — created from someone’s thoughts. All that you see on the outside first came from within. Thought is the one thing over which you have absolute control; only you can decide what you do with your thought.
Your way of thinking starts with individual thoughts, whether good, bad or ugly. Your subconscious prod-uces thought, and your five senses give birth to thought based on your present environment. God and the devil are the two other sources of thought.
The five senses deal with the mind, but God deals with the heart and speaks to us through the Holy Spirit. After Jesus’ ascension into heaven, his disciples received the outpouring of the Holy Spirit from God and thus performed miraculous deeds. “God says: ‘In the last days I will pour out of my Spirit on all kinds of people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.’” (Acts 2:17) In most cases, the mind has to be ready to utilize thoughts from God, just like the ground has to be prepared before seeds are sown therein.
Thoughts enter your mind whether you want them to or not. They arrive every waking and sleeping moment of your life, as both initial data and original ideas, and sometimes turn into action. In his book Hung by the Tongue, author Francis P. Martin explains, “An imagination is intent to do something about what you’ve been thinking; a stronghold is when the choice is not yours anymore, but you have submitted your will to the thought.”2 Imaginations are images, and strongholds are responsible for turning thoughts into reality. Once a thought arrives, the imagination goes to work on it, and if a monopoly is placed on it, that thought becomes reality.
Let’s say, for instance, that the thought of stealing comes to mind. It’s up to you to dismiss or keep that thought. If you choose to entertain the thought, it will become an imagination, or intent to steal. If that thought is caressed, it will evolve into a stronghold and you will end up stealing, unless you submit the temptation to the power of God and, with His help, avoid yielding to it.
You must decide what you’re going to do with a thought. Will you discard it, throwing it into your recycle bin, or will you employ it? The thoughts you utilize will shape your destiny — either a life of mediocrity or a life of greatness. Evidence of the latter is seen in the lives of Columbus, Copernicus, Gandhi, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Helen Keller and many others, who, out of their thoughts, accomplished great things. Imagine what would have happened to our civili-zation if they had discarded those thoughts.
DISCARDED THOUGHTS
“Both poverty and riches are the offspring of thought,” author Napoleon Hill says in his book Think and Grow Rich.3
If you’re not careful, abandoned thoughts can come back to haunt you. Have you ever given up a thought or idea that came to you, only to later see it achieved by someone else? People frequently tell me they have a great idea for a screenplay. My usual response is, “Why don’t you write it or have someone else write it for you?” But nine times out of 10, they fall asleep on the idea, only to later watch it unfold on the movie screen.
On the other hand, you’re constantly bombarded by negative thoughts that, if entertained, will have an adverse effect on the way you do life. Those thoughts — ones that belittle, dehumanize and keep you in bondage — are the ones you must change. You must let go of thoughts that tell you that you came from nothing, will never amount to anything and are no good. “What makes you think you have it in you to accomplish anything worthwhile?” those thoughts say. “You failed yesterday and you are destined to fail again today.” The truth is, nobody has ever accompli-shed anything worthwhile without changing those kinds of thoughts.
LESSONS FROM MOM
When I was a little boy growing up on the islands of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, my mom would say, very philosophically: “What you give out in your right hand you’re going to receive in your left. You can do whatever you set in your heart and mind to accomplish. If you can think it, you can do it.” For a while, I thought she was too immersed in the Word. But some of it did resonate in my delicate mind.
TURNING THOUGHTS INTO REALITY
I was obsessed with becoming a police officer when I grew up, for example, so I studied policemen and prayed to God that someday I would become one. Today, the profession doesn’t intrigue me in the same way it used to, but most of the screenplays I’ve written are about police officers or have something to do with law enforcement. What my mother told me as a child, I’ve realized, has merit. Thoughts hold magic and power.
As a dad, I make it a habit to tell my three sons, ages 11, 9 and 8, not only that I love them and am proud of them, but also that they can do anything they can imagine. They believe in their ability and, as a result, the two eldest have already embarked upon the task of collaboratively writing their first Disney-type screenplay. They are developing the will to win.
BELIEVE IT, CONCEIVE IT
In Think and Grow Rich, Hill talks about a secret hidden in the pages. If you’re ready to receive it, he says, you already possess one half; you’ll acquire the other half once it reaches into your mind. This secret, he adds, cannot be had at any price by those who are not intentionally searching for it. So, I read the book in hot pursuit and with an open mind, believing in order to conceive. Ideas came to me in abundance and I juggled them. My favorites? “Your own thoughts and desires serve as the magnet which attracts units of life, from the great ocean of life out there.” And, "All achievement, all earned riches, have their begin-ning in an idea.” 4
Belief is a powerful force that drives thought. Good thoughts are usually born out of inspiration, and to be inspired, you must be in alignment with God. At one point during Jesus’ ministry, His disciples failed to cast a demon out of a little boy; they lacked faith. But Jesus rebuked the demon and he departed from the child. “Later, the disciples came to Jesus asking, ‘Why couldn’t we cast him out?’ And Jesus said unto them, ‘Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say unto this mountain, ‘Remove hence to yonder place;’ and it shall remove;” and nothing shall be impossible unto you’.” (Matt. 17:19-20)
In the story of David and Goliath, David’s peers probably saw a mountain standing in his way but his faith in the Lord produced an unexpected outcome in battle. “When Goliath looked at David and saw that he was only a boy, tanned and handsome, he looked down on David with disgust. He said, ‘Do you think I am a dog, that you come at me with a stick?’ He used his gods’ names to curse David; He said to David, ’Come here I’ll feed your body to the birds of the air and the wild animals!’ But David said unto him, ‘You come to me using a sword and two spears. But I come to you in the name of the Lord All-Powerful, the God of the armies of Israel! You have spoken against him.’” (1 Sam. 17:42-45) David saw the giant as too big to miss and slew him with a few stones and a slingshot.
Belief inspires one to do the seemingly impossible. An inspired person is apt to break bonds of restraint in his or her mind in order to accomplish tasks in record-breaking style.
Through inspiration, Chicago Bulls player Michael Jordan pursued respect for himself and his team by scoring three times his jersey number as he dropped 69 points on the Cleveland Cavaliers in March, 1990. Whenever you have an inspired thought, you must trust it and act on it.
THE WILL TO SUCCEED
After the Screen Actors Guild commercial strike in 1998, compounded by the effects of 9/11, I struggled as a commercial actor. Previously I’d had a very successful streak of national television spots, landing nine within a 13-month stretch. So off I went search-ing for ways to make things happen. I wasn’t going to allow the industry drought to stop me.
Out of the universe, a hunch nudged me: “Why not become a filmmaker? That’s what most successful people in Hollywood do.” Some of my acquaintances were already climbing that ladder of success, so I submitted to the idea.
At the time, I had no experience in filmmaking, except that which I had picked up on a few movie sets. Nonetheless, I was determined to succeed. There was a classic 1970’s film I liked so much that I thought about remaking it. For the next three weeks, I made phone calls to find out who held the rights to my intended pet project. When I finally made contact with the studio, a woman answered the phone and told me they were not interested in selling the rights to a third party.
That statement didn’t sit well with me. You see, my plane had already taken off, the fasten-your-seat-belt signs were already extinguished, and the hostess was serving the beverage of the day. I composed myself, contacted a writer friend whose script was recently optioned by a major studio, and asked him to assist me in writing my script. He did one of the best things a person can do for another: instead of giving me a fish, he showed me how to fish by sending me guide-lines for writing a screenplay. I got busy. My mantra echoed, “I’ll write my own. I’ll show them. They’ll be begging for my work someday.” My imaginary air-plane was swiftly gaining altitude.
The initial draft of that first screenplay was completed within 29 days. Later, I gladly showed one of my scripts to an acquaintance of mine who is a director. He not only told me I was such a novice, but also said it was the worst screenplay he had ever seen. That hit home like a ton of bricks, and after a few sleepless nights I went back to the drawing board. About a year later, he read one of my action thrillers and remarked,
“I think you have the knack, guy. Not too many people can do it this way.”
Two of my original screenplays are currently in the pre-production phase, but that wouldn’t have hap-pened if I hadn’t followed through with my thoughts and kept going. If I hadn’t coupled belief with thought, my ideas might have been left in the recycle bin.
THOUGHTS LEFT IN THE RECYCLE BIN
John F. Kennedy, the youngest and one of the greatest United States presidents, said this: “The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by the skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were.”5
It should alarm you that the ideas that could beckon a revolution and solve most of the world’s problems, including AIDS, cancer and Alzheimer’s disease, may be sitting idle in the recycle bins of people’s minds. People who allow their thoughts to sit idle are content with inside-the-box thinking, filled with what I call “the could-have-been syndrome.” That’s the way millions of people live their lives. They create a worldwide “I don’t have what it takes” epidemic; as one of my associates says, they have no guts.
Every business, building, highway, school, house, song, screenplay, relationship — everything — begins with a thought. In the book The Magic of Thinking Big, David Schwartz writes, “Think: ‘I can do better.’ The best is not unattainable. There’s room for doing everything better. Nothing in the world is being done as well as it could be. And when you think, ‘I can do better,’ ways to do better will appear.”6 Thinking that way will ignite your creative powers and, like the pent-up flow released from a dam, you will become relentless.
USED THOUGHTS
In his book The Magic of Believing, Claude Bristol states, “There never was a period in history when we should study our own thoughts more, try to under-stand them, and learn how to improve our position in life by drawing upon the great source of power that lies within each of us.”7
How can you tell which thoughts are good and which thoughts are bad? Think of the mind — your storehouse of thoughts — as an empty hard drive in a computer. It knows nothing except what you put into it. The real you is your heart, or your spirit, from where all issues of life flow. I’ve made it a habit for over a decade to feed my computer – the mind with ”good” by reading and listening to inspirational material just before bed. Sometimes I fall asleep while listening. But because my subconscious is still awake while I sleep, it absorbs most of the information. I’ve noticed that at times throughout the day, inspirational thoughts and messages hit me. And more often than not, when I’m in a situation where it’s crucial to find the right words, I’m able to deliver.
Upon acting on the idea to write this book, I felt as if the floodgates of my heart and mind opened, pouring out a storehouse of inspiration. I was directed to previously read books in my library and even to the page, and the highlighted quote, needed for the appropriate insert.
When it comes to thought, only you can determine what is installed on your computer. Remember, input equals output. What you sow you shall also reap.
THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX
Thought largely determines the “haves” from the “have nots” in today’s society. Author Victor Hugo said, “Nothing else in the world ... not all the armies ... is so powerful as an idea whose time has come.”8 And Warren Bennis, in his book On Becoming a Leader, writes, “A leader is, by definition, an innovator. He does things other people haven’t done or don’t do. He does things in advance of other people. He makes new things. He makes old things new.”9
I believe we all have the ability to change what we touch for the better, and if we take advantage of our God-given potential, we’ll leave this world a better place than we found it. After all, we were formed by the One who created everything; without Him, nothing was made. He loves always and gives bountifully when we serve Him in spirit and in truth. If in His image we were formed and molded, why should we profess any form of inhibition? Why do we let small thinking control us? Could it be that we refrain from being plugged into the source — our infinite God? What happens to a river that refuses to draw water from its source?
If we think with a mindset of giving, we entertain abundance, and if we think with an attitude of withholding, we invite lack. The Bible states in Luke 6:38, “Give, and you will receive. You will be given much. Pressed down, shaken together, and running over, it will spill into your lap. The way you give to others is the way God will give to you.” As the source gives to the stream so ought the stream to impart to the ocean.
In 1980, I was greeted by the Statue of Liberty, subway stations, taxis and massive pedestrian traffic upon my entrance into New York City. A few years before, still living in the Islands, I had seen pictures of the city’s greatest landmarks through a viewfinder on loan from a friend. I dreamed of living in the Big Apple, and I finally made it. After years of balancing odd jobs, seeds for my acting career were planted and took root.
While I drove taxis there in New York, my yearning to become an actor gnawed at me. One evening I picked up a passenger in Queens on his way to Manhattan, and we struck up a conversation. He said he was an actor and thought I had a great presence and would look powerful on screen. I told him I had been thinking about the possibility of acting for quite some time. Before exiting the cab, he not only gave me the name of his acting school and a contact person, but also left his number in case I needed further assistance with my enrollment at Lee Stras-burg Institute. The rest is history.
Moving to Los Angeles has, in more ways than one, broadened my horizons, enhanced my thinking, and expanded my vision. My experiences gained from “The University of Hard Knocks” have given me the idea and the drive to write, and today, this book is a result of that seed-planting-fruit-bearing thought.
PROTECTING YOUR THOUGHT SOURCE
Claude Bristol states: in The Magic of Believing, “The secret of success lies not without, but within, the thoughts of man.”10
The sources of our drinking water are always heavily guarded and protected from intrusion and contami-nants. People protect their bodies from the weather and other elements. And yet, few take the time to protect their thought source — the mind.
Imagine your best friend comes over to visit one day, and in his hands are two heavy bags. You offer him a seat, and then sit on your recliner and adjust it to a comfortable position. “What’s in the bags?” you ask. He immediately opens one of them and deposits its contents, full of grime and filth, onto your nice clean carpet. As your nostrils react to the stench, he opens the other bag. Do you encourage him to dump more contaminants into your habitat? Of course not.
So, consider this example in terms of your mind. How do you treat the situation if a friend dumps garbage into your thought source? Do you say, “Thank you very much for the pollutants; could you please deposit some more?” or do you put the breaks on his toxin distribution extravaganza?
THE POWER OF THOUGHT
Napoleon Hill states in his book Think and Grow Rich, “It has been said that man can create anything which he can imagine.”11 Pascal had this to say: “Man’s greatness lies in his power of thought.”12 Thoughts are magnetic. They will attract people that support them and an environment in which they can grow, producing after their kind.
You, too, can attract what you want, and the strength of the thought vibration will determine the strength of its attraction. A mere wish lacks the tenacity neces-sary to get unleashed.
By changing your thoughts you will change your expressions, and eventually, your world. Everything you accomplish or fail to accomplish in life will be a direct result of the thoughts you cherish in your mind and the words that come out of your mouth. Wherever you are right now, everything you’ve experienced has prepared you for this moment in time.
Our achievements of today are but the sum total of our thoughts of yesterday. You are today where the thoughts of yesterday have brought you and will be tomorrow where the thoughts of today take you.13 — Pascal