Inspiration Ebooks: Free ebook sample of "Personal Keys to Self-Help Success" by Doug Cartwright ACMC

Chapter 1 - Personal Development: An Essential Key?

Is there an essential key to personal development? One without which the unlocking of your potential might be difficult - if not impossible?

If we define personal development as growth involving the mind and the body, then yes – I think there is.

Without this key personal growth is slow, and sluggish. Without learning how to tap into this essential human ‘tool’, change will be sporadic or imposed from the outside.

And I believe the really important part is this: without developing this function of consciousness, all deep change will be difficult.

It does not matter what courses you buy, which ‘gurus’ you listen to, how many self-growth seminars you take. Because this is one thing you cannot do without: The ability to self-observe, what some people call self-awareness.

Self-awareness meaning the ability to become aware of what is going on in:

* Your mind’s eye (the cinema screen of your mind)

* Your inner ear (verbal self-talk, sounds, talk from other ‘parts’ of you)

* Your feelings (meaning and feelings inside and on the outside of your body)

* Your emotions (feelings that you have labelled as ‘emotions’)

* Your intuition- literally your ‘inner-knowing’

If you are not aware of what is going on inside YOU – what your perceptions are reporting to you on the inside you lack access to vital information. It’s like sitting in a sport’s car without a key to the engine - or being locked in first gear.

You can’t change what you’re not aware of.

According to the National Autistic Society UK 65% of the population predominantly think using their visual system. Yet a common complaint for people trying to learn how to use performance improvement technologies like Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is: “I just don’t see pictures in my head.”

Actually, they do - they are just not aware of them.

But since so much of that field’s techniques use the questions: “Imagine that…” or “Remember a time when…” it is useful to understand some ways of accessing that information. Even if you just want to have more access to using your visual imagination you need to increase your awareness of those pictures.

The most powerful way I have found (and I’ve been using it since at least 2001) is Image Streaming by Win Wenger. http://www.winwenger.com/ebooks.htm

This is a process of describing out-loud anything you are aware of in your mind’s eye (and I mean anything, even blips of light), and it offers numerous methods for kick-starting a ‘stream’ of images in your awareness.

I’ve found that people who ‘can’t see images’ report ‘break-throughs’ to ‘seeing’ in only a few minutes, thereby automatically increasing their access to their perceptions and self-insight (literally in-sight!)

My metaphor for using this technique is it’s like clearing out a partially blocked drain. At one end is the unconscious mind that wants to push answers and ideas through to the consciousness. But this conduit is blocked by rust (lack of use!). Image streaming allows you to receive more information from your incredibly powerful, God-given, unconscious mind.

Another way to develop the sharpness of mental images – if you already see blurry or indistinct images – is to use the snapshot method.

Quite simply, look at something like a rose or a car and ‘snapshot it’: close your eyes and describe as much of what you see in your mind’s eye as you can. Use only sensory words: I see…red…the flowers have green stems with triangular thorns…there is a white picket fence behind them…”. Then open your eyes and compare what you saw inside with what you see outside. This has the effect of sharpening your visual memory as well.

Benefits

Why would you put so much effort into becoming aware of your perceptions?

Well, if you like ancient advice, the Temple of Apollo at Delphi supposedly had "know thyself" over the door. And if you have habits you want to change then you often need to find what’s making them tick. You need to "know thyself" and what makes you tick at a whole deeper level.

The famous Gestalt therapist Fritz Perls said, “Awareness per se is curative”. What does this mean? Think about it – have you ever realised something you didn’t know you thought, and exclaimed : “That’s stupid! I can’t believe I thought that” – and it was gone? That’s what he meant! 

The realisation or flash of insight itself can be the catalyst for the change!

An added bonus is (and I saved the best for last) Image Streaming offers an increase in measurable intelligence.

Win Wenger had tests of image streamers conducted by Charles P. Reinert at South West State University and found that there were nearly ½ point of measurable IQ increase for every hour of use and an average of 9 point increase after 20.5 hours of use (http://www.vth.biz/kb/html.php?category=10#category-10

- CTRL+F and search for ‘Reinert’).

Now, most of us know that nowadays intelligence is not considered to just measurable with linguistic and mathematical abilities – Howard Gardner writes about Multiple Intelligences including visio-spatial, musical and kinaesthetic intelligence.

But Image Streaming can help with all of these.

I’ve personally used it to solve problems, get insights, create new techniques and improve as a coach.

In fact, Win Wenger has produced a kit with Paul Scheele of PhotoReading fame called The Genius Code. It has all the directions you need to tap into your ever-flowing unconscious yet brilliant Image Stream.

If you are starting at the beginning I understand it can be frustrating to have to build awareness little by little each day. But before long you will make a quantum leap and your self-awareness will show you things you never knew about yourself and your potential.

Chapter 2 - De-Personalising personal development

Here’s a thought that might spin your head.

Personal development is not personal! It’s not about you.

It IS personal in that what you ‘personally develop’ is particular to your beliefs, your skills, and your situation – but it’s not about the ‘you’ who is unconditionally valuable and beyond judgment.

I said it would spin your head. But stick with me, there is good news to come.

Some words in the English language are what are called in linguistic studies – multi-ordinal. This means that the same word means different things in different contexts. This is easily understood when you consider that saying: ‘I love you’ to your fluffy cute dog or cat is not the same as saying it to your husband or wife in bed. It’s the same word, different context and hence different meanings.

So why is this good news for you and your personal development?

It’s good news if you are someone who personalises comments, who feels that you’re being talked about, that you have to have your radar always on in case someone says something bad about you.

If you are someone who says, “‘I failed” and feels bad about yourself rather than just not getting the result you want, it could be because you are confusing the levels of ‘you’ that does something with the you that is beyond judgement.

This might help to explain it. NLP pioneer Robert Dilts created a model called the Neuro-logical levels which suggested that we think in ‘levels’ and making a change at the higher levels impact what we perceive at the lower ones. Hence a change at the level of mission could affect how we see ourselves (Identity).

Here’s the complete list:

· Mission
· Identity
· Values
· Beliefs
· Capabilities
· Behavior
· Environment

You will also notice that Identity - who you ARE - is at a different level to Capabilities and Behavior – what you DO.

It’s good news because you are not what you do. It’s not about YOU (Identity). Despite what the people around you say.

As a Meta-Coach, I find that when my clients have linked judgements about their performance with judgements about their personal worth it creates a yo-yo effect (good performance = I’m worthwhile, bad performance = I’m a worthless person). It also hinders people from taking the actions and risks they need in order to progress. They feel that the essential core of who they ARE is being threatened. The part that is ‘I’, the part that is ‘me’ doesn’t want to be changed.

But who or what is ‘I’?

Try this. Say to yourself, “I have feelings, but I am not my feelings. . .my feelings change but I remain . . .I have beliefs but I am not my beliefs. . .my beliefs change but I remain . . .I have a body but I am not my body. . .my body changes but I remain."

Emphasize the ‘I’ when you speak, accent it more heavily. It has a strange effect, doesn’t it?

So if ‘I’ am not any of these things…then what am I?

Many say “I think, therefore I am.”

Here is my perspective.

I’m a Christian and I believe that God created me and put His life in me. That life is unconditionally valuable and cannot be devalued. That is what constitutes ‘I’ for me.

I also believe that He gave me the kind of consciousness that enables me to think about myself and all aspects of myself.

Thus, – you might want to read this twice – the thinker (which is me/I) is not the same as what is thought about – my thoughts. It, like identity and behaviour in Robert’s model are different phenomena of me.

So for me ‘I’ is a spiritual issue, and I (and it/my value) am separate from what I think. “I am – therefore I think”.

I know others will have different ideas and we each have to choose what we base our understanding of ourselves on.

What I have done is take on a concept of ‘I’ that is not affected by the judgments that are made about what I do. And because I accept that God values me I don’t have to convince myself that I am valuable simply because I say so…

How would this idea of ‘I’ have unconditional value work for you if you did it?

For one, this makes it much easier to pick up the phone and have my ideas rejected rather than my ‘self’ rejected.

And concerning ‘failure’ (which is another one of those ‘multi-ordinal words.) if you fail, what exactly failed?

Was it YOU – the entire mind body system that supposedly constitutes who you are?

• Did your mind shut down?

• Did your blood stop pumping?

• Did your immune system shut down?
  Did your muscles atrophy?
  Did your throat muscles die?

• Did those things ‘fail’?

Because that is what you are saying if ‘I’ am my thoughts-body.

Was it the YOU that remains even if your beliefs and values change? (I stopped believing in Santa at least two years ago).

Or is it just that your mental blueprint for doing something was incomplete or inaccurate?

You had a missing piece of knowledge or something you knew was out-of-date.

Would that be so bad? After all, databases need updating, don’t they? We’ve all had letters for previous tenants or mail with our name misspelled.

I like to think of my thoughts as tools. Along with my understanding and application of my faith, I want my mind and body to serve me.

Distinguishing ‘I’ as director and overseer from the ‘I’ who thinks and acts may seem a little schizophrenic to some.

But if you consider that since the economic recession started there have been several high profile suicides of very rich people who lost a lot of money – and who may have connected some important aspect of self with the amount of money they had – maybe separating worth and doing, worth and possessions is not such a bad idea after all.

Jesus said: “A man’s life does not consist of his possessions.”

So – do you still think that if I get something wrong the failure is about my worth?
Is personal development still personal?

Look me in the ‘I’ and say that.

Chapter 3 - the (re)acquistion of your personal power

Power: What a subject.

We all desire power to varying degrees whether we call it ‘power’ or ‘control’ or something else. Whether or not it’s power over ourselves or power over others, power to do good, power to do evil, power to create, power to destroy, we are fascinated by the subject.

We write about it

“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” -Lord Acton

We sing about it.

“I got the power!” -Snap

We study those who exercise it in one form or another.

“The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all.” – Niccolo Machiavelli

Ultimately, despite all this attention paid, there is one foundational ‘power’ – that many of us lack and want and need more of.

Need a clue? Read the following quotes.

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still”

Lao Tzu quotes (Chinese Taoist Philosopher, founder of Taoism, 600 BC-531 BC)

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