WIN
Simple Insights to Help You Win the Game of Life
BY:
Lee Rubin
WIN
Published by Lee Rubin at Smashwords
Copyright © 2011 by Lee Rubin
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, address “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
Peppermint Candy Publishing
PO Box 824
Manalapan, NJ 07726
www.carmenrubin.com
Warning – Disclaimer
The purpose of this book is to educate and entertain. The author and/or publisher does not guarantee that anyone following the ideas, tips, suggestions, techniques or strategies will become successful. The author and/or publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to anyone with respect to any damage caused, or alleged to be caused, directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.
Dedication:
This book is dedicated to the flowers that continue to bloom in my life,
making life colorful and sweet:
Carmen, Ashleigh, and Ashanti
Contents
Foreword
Introduction
Identity
Fingerprint
Our Self Image
Dumb it Down
My Heart’s Desire
Haters: Your Most Valuable Critics
A Different Place
Vision & Goals
Destination Unknown
Remembering What You Want
Stick to the Plan
Getting Past Good Enough
Vision: Memory, in Reverse
Just One Step
Decisions, Decisions
Not Exciting, but Effective
Go Get it!
Adversity
Stop Acting Like a Monkey
Fourth Quarter
Conflict
Paying and Playing
A White Collar Criminal
Make Room for the New
Past the Plateau
It Hurts so Good
Your True Colors
Convert Discipline to Self-Discipline
Leadership & Team-Building
The Scoreboard
Coaches
Opponents are Great Team-Builders
Appreciate Your Competitor
Good Teams Beat Great Players
A Letter to Coach Paterno
Relationships
Love = Risk
Seek First to Understand
Small Gesture…Huge Impact
Brokenhearted
Identity Theft
Love is Not Enough
Giving Back
Mars, Venus...and a Gift Bag
About the Author
Biographical Information on Individuals Quoted
Partners for WIN
Notes
Acknowledgements
Foreword
After a game, I often tell my team: “You’re never as good as you think you are when you win, and you’re never as bad as you think you are when you lose.” With that, I try to teach my players that everything cannot be measured solely on the end result. In fact, there’s often more to be learned by mistakes than by successes. Understanding HOW to navigate the road to success is just as important as actually getting there. If for some reason, you get lost, knowing HOW to win can help in finding your way again.
Lee is a student of the road. During the seasons that he played for me, Lee focused on learning HOW to win. His questions, challenges, and curiosities made him more than a fine football player; they made him a team leader.
I have been a football coach for more than 60 years. I have always believed that being a good coach requires that you are, first and foremost, an effective teacher. It was a pleasure helping Lee become a better football player. It is a joy to see him now taking the lessons he’s learned along the way and sharing them with others in such a clear and simple way. Lee knows the road to success. You would be wise to listen.
- Joe Paterno
Winningest Coach in College Football History (Division 1-A)
Introduction
The key to winning in sports is really quite simple: execute the fundamentals on a consistent basis. At the highest level in sports, players can rarely rely on talent alone: they must understand the basics. Winning in the game of life works the same way. You cannot ignore the basic principles and fundamentals and expect to perform at your full potential.
This book is a collection of some of the insights I’ve gained on winning. And I know a thing or two about the topic. I was a captain on the Penn State University football team, a nationally respected program for success both on the field and in the classroom. I’ve enjoyed a successful career as a Human Resources professional with an elite list of Fortune 500 companies. I now enjoy a speaking career that allows me to meet and interact with winners in other fields. Whether on the athletic field, in the business world, or in my personal life, I’ve seen that those who succeed share one key element: a mastery of the basics.
Fundamentally, I believe that life is lived from the inside out. When you dig deeply into the minds of winners, you will find that they share some common beliefs. These beliefs are built on thoughts that shape our identity, our attitudes, and our behavior. Winners set big goals and find a way to achieve them, even if they are not the most talented or skilled individuals in their field.
This book is arranged in categories that reflect my philosophy of starting from the inside and moving outward. We start with our identity, discuss vision and goals, look at how we overcome challenges, and end with how we work with, and relate to, others. Each thought is followed by a quote that captures the idea that I’ve shared.
Where possible, I left plenty of space on the pages that contain the quotes for you to jot down some notes, highlight a point, or make an action commitment. Let this book serve as a resource and refer to it often. It is only by embracing new ideas and putting them into action that you will see changes in your thinking and, consequently, adjustments in your behavior. Treat it like a journal. Read it. Revisit it. Work it!
If you are hungry to live more of your potential and win more often in your life, this book is for you.
To your success,
Lee
IDENTITY
Fingerprint
The human body is amazing. It is comprised of such intricate systems. From our skeletal system to our digestive system to our respiratory system, we are a phenomenal display of craftsmanship.
While looking at my hands one day, I studied my fingertips and became overwhelmed. Each fingertip has just about a square inch of skin. On that little bit of skin, there is a design that we call a fingerprint. The amazing thing is that each of my fingers has a design that is unique to me. Of the other six billion people that share the Earth with me, no one has a fingerprint like mine.
It gets better than that! Of all the humans that occupied this planet before me, and of all those that will ever come after me, my fingerprint is completely unique. Our Creator thought enough of me as an individual to give me my own unique pattern of swirls of skin on the tips of my finger. To invest that much creativity in ME, I must be special.
If you ever start to feel insignificant, take a look at your fingerprints. They will remind you of just how unique and special you are.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
-Dr. Seuss
Our Self Image
Deep within our minds is a picture that we have of ourselves. Let’s call it our self image. This picture is critical because it drives our attitudes, beliefs, and ultimately, our behavior. There are things we will do, or not do, based purely on how we see ourselves. When we don’t see ourselves as strong or competent, we won’t take on certain challenges. We hold back because our self image tells us we can’t do something, even though we may actually have the ability to do those things.
Though we call it our self image, much of this critical picture of us was shaped by others. Those influencers typically include our family and friends, leaders in our faith community, and the media, to name a few. They helped shape our identity and told us what we could become and achieve. Psychologists tell us that much of this picture was painted during our childhood. Unfortunately, as children, we didn’t have the tools to reject the picture that was painted for us by the people we trusted. Sadly, many of the limits we impose on ourselves are the result of our self image.
Nevertheless, there comes a point in our lives when we must take responsibility for what we accept as true. As adults, we cannot blame anyone else for the picture we embrace. We must invest the time to ensure that our picture is the one we want.
Take ownership of your self image. Take ownership of your life!
“Your performance on the outside is always
consistent with your self-image on the inside.”
-Brian Tracy
Dumb it Down
It is hard to be around arrogant people. They brag about their possessions and exaggerate tales of their accomplishments. Not only do they have an air of superiority, but they treat others as second-class citizens. Their gloating and boasting is sickening.
I have always been a believer in humility. However, there are individuals who take humility too far. They intentionally downplay their accomplishments and pretend not to be gifted or skilled. They don’t want to be perceived as “different.” They go out of their way to hide the things that make them special.
They will dumb down who they are, including their academic, professional, or financial success in order to make others around them feel more comfortable. Forasmuch as boasting is unhealthy, so is dumbing down who you are. This behavior is not helping anyone!
Show the world the real you, and share your unique abilities or accomplishments. Add your voice to the chorus. You owe it to yourself, as well as the rest of the world. Those who constantly cover up their flame will soon have that flame extinguished.
Free yourself to be yourself, and reveal to all just how great you are!
“Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people would not
feel insecure around you.”
-Marianne Williamson
My Heart’s Desire
As a corporate recruiter for more than 15 years, I have interviewed thousands of candidates for professional positions at all levels. From college students looking for their first job to senior executives with 20 or more years of experience, it is fascinating how many people have no clue what they want to be when they grow up.
The story is all too common. People get jobs, start making money, and create a lifestyle that keeps them bound to work. Day after day, many work simply to pay their bills. They are not engaged in work about which they are passionate. Before they know it, 5, 10, 20 years have passed and they have never participated in work that they find truly engaging.
It is easy to get so entangled with the daily challenges of life that we never engage our heart’s true desires. When you’ve got your head down, with only the daily chores of life in view, it is easy to lose sight of our true passions. What a tragedy!
Pick up your head. Don’t let life’s daily cares keep you from seeing the big, beautiful world of opportunities out there waiting for you.
“The more intensely we feel about an idea
or a goal, the more assuredly the idea,
buried deep in our subconscious, will
direct us along the path to its fulfillment.”
-Earl Nightingale
Haters: Your Most Valuable Critics
It takes courage to put your work – and yourself – on display. You leave yourself exposed and vulnerable. Though many may support you and affirm your efforts, you will likely have others that do not want to see you do well. I call them ‘haters’.
A friend once said to me, “Haters can be your best source of motivation. They’ll reveal things to you that your supporters would not. They’re looking for your weaknesses with a sharper eye. The motive of haters may be wrong, but many times the information can be dead on.”
Honest feedback is essential if you are serious about improving what you do. Unfortunately, your supporters do not always provide the most objective criticism. Careful not to hurt your feelings, their feedback may not address those areas that need development. Haters, however, are not concerned about your feelings. In fact, they can’t wait to broadcast your flaws. Despite their evil intent, their opinions may point out your weaknesses, giving you an opportunity to address them.
Be open to the criticism of your haters. The information they share can be extremely valuable, helping you pinpoint the areas you need to work on.
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.
It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.