False Labels:
Don’t Let People Label You:
13
uplifting short stories of Inspiration,
Hope, Encouragement and
Empowerment
By Marie-Claire N Kuja
Copyright
2012 Marie-Claire N Kuja
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition License Notes:
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever including Internet usage, without written permission of the author.
ISBN: 978-0-9850226-0-0
The new
international reader’s version
copyright(c)-1995, 1996, 1998 by
Biblica, Inc.
The way (an
illustrated edition of the living bible)
Copyright(c) 1971 by
Tyndale house publishers.
Copyright(c) 1972 by youth for Christ
international
Table of Contents
Dedication
Acknowledgements
The
Foreword
The
Introduction
Just
Who Are You & What Is Your Lists?
My
Take
Words
to ponder
Prayer
Impact
of bullying
David
and Goliath
God’s
approval and not people / David Saul and Brothers
On
self acceptance
Confidence
and self esteem
The
Blaming Game
Applaud
yourself even if no one does
Seeking
help
The
word
Prayer
Who
You Are Matters
Pa
Njiki & Pa Ngassa’s story
Words
to ponder
Prayer
The
gift of education as a booster
Ramatu’s
story
The
Word
Prayer
Nkem’s
story
Limited
by the system?
The
Word
Prayer
Tamika’s
story
The
Word
Prayer
Rema’s
story
Not
Losing Faith
The
Word
Prayer
Stop
Dwelling In The Past
The
Word
Prayer
The
maggot and the palm tree
A
Forgiveness story
Find
Reasons To Be Grateful
Staying
Organized
The
Word
Prayer
The
mango tree
The
Daughters of Mami Accra
The
Word
Prayer
False
Labels as a Mountain
The
Word
Count
yourself Blessed
The
Word
Prayer
Oh!
Yes The World Is Mine
Na
Nah’s story
The
Word
Prayer
Some
notes
Conclusion
Praises
or reviews
This book is dedicated to:
My God: The King of all kings.
To my lovely parents: Your integrity, love, sacrifice, humility and compassion have left an incredible impression in my life. I will forever be grateful to both of you.
To my Big Brother (Ni Adolf): When God gave you to me, He gave me gold. Your unconditional love and sacrifice for me means the world.
To Nunichu and Wagala: My two precious treasures. Being your mother is the greatest reward I ever had. You bring me more joy than I could ever hope for.
And to all the kujaS: Ma Bea, Ni Divine, Ma Rachel, Kabi, Anna, Ga, & kah & my cousin Ma Commy: Your love, encouragement and support are second to none. Our greatest days are still ahead.
As with any project, it takes a great team to make all the elements come together in a book. I want to extend my personal and humble gratitude to:
God – Who gave me the inspiration, who created me so uniquely, who has given me lots of chances in life, who made me know that He specializes in the impossibilities, and can take a person like me, a stained –sin soul and make something out of. Who made me know I could look beyond Any False Labels.
Mom and Dad – To whom I have drawn so much inspiration from. Thank you so much for the strong foundation you laid for us. Thank you for introducing me to this Great King, The God of all gods.
Adolf Kuja [My big Brother] – Who has believed so much in me and has given me unconditional support throughout my whole life and with this book project. I love and thank you endlessly.
Mr. Terry Berogan–My editor – Thanks a billion for not only editing this book as a professional but as a father correcting her daughter’s work. Thank you for the heart and passion you put into the work.
Atumo Daniel – I thank you very immensely for your enthusiasm, excitement, and for the time you took to read, edit and write such a beautiful review. Thank you moreover for believing in the success of this book.
Gary Sanchez – My illustrator for the beautiful artwork. They were so well done. Thanks Gary.
Clement Okpor – Your godly wisdom and unique insights have made this book a great success. I thank you.
Michael Amraibure [My boo] – I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your contributions and Inspirations and for all the sleepless nights you spent proof-reading or editing or doing something for this project to be successful. Thank you.
To all the Kuja’s and my one and only cousin Fokumlah Comfort – For all your sacrifices and unconditional love expressed to me over the years, I love and thank you.
Allied girls – Fatima Mansaray, Nana Akyaa kwarteng, Olabisi Deen Kamara, Titilope Akinde, Latifa Monsunmola Folly, Kerry Walker, Shermain, Jamaine, Thanya Dorose, Joujou Charles, Mabel, Rita, Patience and everyone from the class of 2010. All your moral support and the beautiful friendship makes life interesting.
To Chichi Onukwue, Amabel Ngwasha, & Mariama Akrah, your friendship is precious. Thank you.
Rev. Perry Wooten – Senior Pastor of the Eastchester Presbyterian Church Bronx New York for the beautiful foreword and encouragements. For everything you have done for me over the years, I thank you immensely.
Sister Etta Graham-Mitchell and brother Jonas Attuh-Mensah of the Eastchester Presbyterian Church Bronx New York for taking time out of your very busy schedule to review the manuscript. Thank you so much for all the feedback and beautiful reviews. I really appreciate it.
Joana Penn of Thecreativepenn and Dale Beaumont of GetPublishTV.com, both of whom I have learn a lot from their online teachings. I have learned more than I can explain from you guys and I thank you.
“Why?”
That is the most common and most frequently asked question by men, women and children. As children we ask “Why must I do that?” As adults we inquire, “Why is life like that?” As thinkers we search the greatest unknowns of all: “Why the world is ‘constructed’ this way?” “How do those stars hang there in space?” “Why do things happen the way they do?”
There are many, many other questions we can and do ask, of course. Some revolve around the creation of the universe, some are motivated by human behavior, and a few are centered in the incomplete knowledge of every human being.
Many of the ‘why’s’ we ask are important and crucial and for the most part reflect our background, education and interests. But there is one ‘why’ that overshadows every other ‘why,’ and that is the ‘why’ of our existence.
Marie-Claire does a masterful job in addressing this issue. Importantly, she does it in a way which is neither as a professor who pretends to have all the answers or as a paragon of experience who seeks to overpower the reader with the breadth and variety of her exposure to all forms of human endeavor.
Rather, Marie-Claire seeks to guide the reader along a path which is familiar and inviting, safe yet challenging. Specifically, she does what every sound, mature person of faith must do. She encourages us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. And He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5)
As an intelligent and faithful servant of the living GOD, she recognizes early on that we cannot find ourselves if we run from the Source of all life. She reminds us that we cannot determine our ultimate purpose in life if we ignore the ultimate purpose for which we were made. She continually calls us to remember that we cannot ignore GOD’s call to serve and acknowledge the needs, hopes and ambitions of others and assume that we will find fulfillment in our individual efforts and struggles.
Another advantage of this book is that the author offers us a choice. We can be either “a doer or a one-to.” That is, we can either take responsibility for where we are and what we are doing and what we are called to be, or we can continue to be tools of events and the instruments of the power that others seek to wield over us.
Whatever your frame of mind – downcast, used up or forward looking – this book is for you. Not only will those who feel useless be emboldened to start again, but those who are “on a roll” will gain new insights into the most rewarding purpose and the direction of their efforts.
Benjamin Franklin said, “If you love life then don’t waste time, for that is the stuff of which it is made.” I would encourage every intelligent and faithful reader to spend your time wisely – by reading and absorbing the lessons of this excellent testimony of truth.
Rev. Perry
Wooten,
Senior pastor of Eastchester Presbyterian church,
Bronx
N Y U.S.A
Two images from my childhood come rushing to mind when I think about the person I am today and why I do what I want to do. Why am I drawn to sharing my story with people all over the world?
The first image was from the first time I was treated like an outcast and told by many that I will never amount to anything. Having a child as a teenager and out of wedlock is wrong but not as bad as to earn me the names I earned. The second image was from the way my son was treated. Not only did people call me useless for having a child out of wedlock, they transferred that unto to him and called him a bastard. That was so hurtful and destroying emotionally and completely damaged everything I ever had as self-worth.
Every time that I heard people call my son and I names, it reminded me of what I was not. During that period in my life I was uncomfortable, insecure and struggling. I was at war with myself .But one day, so tired of fighting with myself I decided to turn things the other way. I was determined to know why I was created and what my purpose in life is. While on a quest on finding out my purpose I started researching the Bible and other inspirational books. Then I started praying even more. I also started writing to myself (a journal). Gradually I noticed my journal was becoming a journey, not just a simple destination. They were real life happening at the moment. I’d completed two to three a week. They were thick and full and ripe with feelings and thoughts. Whenever I was down and read from my journals I felt like an angel was talking to me. It felt so uplifting. My own words became an inspiration to me. I was reminded of how important it is to believe in myself and remember that we are all created unique and special. During this time while I was praying and asking God to make it clear to me why I was on earth, I came to this wonderful self realization. I realized I am a masterpiece carefully handpicked by God. I am not a mistake, nor useless nor a failure, nor any of the other names I was called. I also realized I had to be myself. Then I decided to do what I am asking you today to do. To take off those old false labels and re-label yourself with what God says about you. He made you special and unique
People around me would read them and said: “Oh! I totally felt this way or I relate so much—”. I was fascinated with people’s truth, how they were perceived by others and how that didn’t necessarily jibe with what they felt. People would say: “you are so put together” but didn’t know what a struggle my life was. They also didn’t know how apart I was from myself. I wish there was a book like this when I was growing up. I had so many different struggles centered around negative belief system I had formed based on what other people said about me. This is a universal struggle, “I was bullied and called so many names as a teen which left a very lasting scar in my life”, said a school friend who had read my journal. Then I knew I was not alone. But how can we combat this? How can we empower our minds and spirits and the generation to come?
So the idea of having a strong voice became very confronting.
People all have edges but the challenge is not to hide from them. I made a pact to share my story with others because I believe only shared experiences help.
However, if we don’t know any better we would wear these false labels like they are truths, limiting us from what God has in store for us. Yet lots of people have heeded to these false labels and have ended on the side lines of life, feeling washed out and drowning in self-pity and low self esteem. False labels have caused lots of people their lives by way of drugs, prostitution, alcoholism and even death.
How do you break out and experience the full potential that God has in store for you? I will challenge you in the pages of False Labels to break out of a barely get-by-life style and live your life to the fullest, celebrating your uniqueness every day. Stop going through life with self pity and low self esteem, focusing on all the negative things and feeling inadequate always dwelling on one thing or the other. Remember people can only call you the names you answer to… Life has a divine purpose and meaning. Don’t sit on the other side of life and let others steal your joy. Don’t let life pass you by.
False Labels therefore comes as a counteract to derogatory labels .Each story is carefully and uniquely written to inform, educate, empower, inspire, and redirect people both young and old. The stories all end with some words to ponder and a prayer. Some of them have images for better understanding. The central message to the reader is that they are not a write off. The book is meant to tell people what they can do through Christ rather than what they can’t do. It’s also intended to give people a push and help them win at life and regain their lost hope and most importantly learn how to celebrate their uniqueness.
Proverbs 18:4 says, “Your words are like life-giving water.” There are people in need of life-giving water, who are lonely and hurting; they’ve been through disappointments, suffering, heartache and pain. God has given us something to offer them - our words; which can bring healing; lift others out of depression by way of encouragement and compliments. We can help set people free from the strongholds that are keeping them back.
And by so doing they will be able to live a purpose driven life while making their lives count for Christ. Look beyond false labels.
“Just Who Are You & What Is Your Lists?”
“Girl! Wait till you see my ride. I’m gonna be gaming it in all kinds of rides,” says one of the girls in my obstetric (OB) class as we sat down for a talk.
When I was in nursing school, I met some of the most amazing friends of my life. One day during our break, while we were chatting with each other, something came up about what we will be doing after nursing school and what we think our purpose in life is. We all have different perspectives on life and following are some of my friends’ responses.
One said, “Oh my husband and I have already started building a clinic. I intend to go back home to Liberia and open a clinic so I can help others. There are many women and children in my country suffering. I wish I can be of help one day by God’s grace.”
Another responded with, “I’m working on starting a foundation in my country to help women and children in need. My country has suffered so much from war. I hope one day I will be able to provide some kind of help to them, especially children orphaned by AIDS.”
Another friend said, “I will travel the world and enjoy my life to the fullest.” She also added, “How I love nice clothes and shoes. I will buy the most beautiful home and probably live my life with my husband if any one comes my way.”
And yet another said, “Girl, my ride? You will need to come see what I will be cruising in.” From all the responses, you can clearly see that everyone has a different perspective on life.
And the last of my friends said, “Guys, with this suffering, I will not give a dime to anyone because no one cares about me right now anyway.”
I thought all the answers were interesting and different.
What I think is my purpose in life can be completely different from others thinking because after all God created all of us very differently and uniquely and also planted different gifts and talents in us.
But you see a whole 60-70% of us will go to our graves without knowing who we are, why we were created in the first place and worst of all why God gave us all these great gifts and talents and opportunities. I believe very strongly that we are not on earth by accident but because He meant for us to be here. I also believe that He made everyone with very special gifts, skills, abilities and talents for a reason.
It is God himself who has made us what we are and has given us new lives from Christ Jesus, and long ages ago He planned that we should spend these lives in helping others. Ephesians 2:10
But more often than not, we just settle into living our daily routines of waking up in the morning, eating, going to work (in jobs we sometimes don’t like), coming back home, eating, taking a shower and going to sleep to get ready for the next day. While we are going in circles with this routine, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years go by and, because time waits for no one, we get old and die. Most people have the opportunities of knowing their purpose when they are young, but ignore or do not recognize these opportunities because life is so sweet or bitter that it deters their minds.
The Truth Is That Only You Can Be You And Only You Can Choose To Surrender Your Life Completely To God. Erik Rees
The best way to thrive in today’s world is living a purpose-driven life. A life that is meaningful. A life where you are following your own values and not anyone else’s, where you surrender all you have to God to expand His glory. I am as guilty here as anyone because I lived a very confused life for quite a while and a lot of things happened to me, as it can to all of us, that completely deterred my ways of thinking and looking at things. But somewhere deep inside me, there was a void. I wished that I was doing something else instead of cleaning people’s houses or working in retail stores. I knew very well I was wasting that precious time we have in life but did not know what to do. I had my youngest son in September 2004 and instead of celebrating I was suffering from the worst form of postpartum depression. It got so bad I had to beg my mother to come from Africa and take the poor little baby with her and let me face the challenges on my own. It was as though everything that happened to me from my childhood to now came pressing down on me. And, as if that was not enough, I had no job, no friends nor any family here. I was literally breaking down. But one evening in November 2005, a certain journalist hosted a show for women who have gone through all kinds of lows and adversities which caused them to lose their identities and self worth. Amongst the many women present were those who lost their husbands through divorce or whose husbands left them for other women, these women were labeled by friends or loved ones as dirty or unworthy. Like: “Oh, you are too fat,” or “You don’t have what it takes so you can’t do it,” or “You cannot amount to anything.” These labels, whether false or true, hurt people and give them little or no confidence and self worth and they have to live with them for a life time or until they can get help.