A Gold
Digger’s
Guide
DISCLAIMER: Though the term Gold Digger is used on the cover of this book, from here on out, get accustomed to the New Millennium term: GOAL Digger. It’s about achieving GOALs.
DO NOT
GET CAUGHT
WITH THIS
BOOK!
A Gold
Digger’s
Guide
How to Get What You Want,
Without Giving It Up.
By: Baje Fletcher
GLITZ & GLAMOUR PUBLISHING
Edited by Mila Hiles and Tosha Boyd
The names of the characters identified in this book have been modified or changed completely to avoid litigation.
A GOLD DIGGER’S GUIDE (How To Get What You Want Without Giving It Up). Copyright © 2009 by Glitz and Glamour Models, Talent and Publishing, all rights reserved. No part of this book may be copied, reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronically, by video, audio recording or photocopying without written permission from the author. For a written release visit agolddiggersguide.com
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Visit the website: www.AGoldDiggersGuide.com for more information on products, projects or the author.
Interior book design by Cadillac. Exterior book design by Blacktag Media. Logo design by Mark Merit. Front cover photo by Le Mar James. Back cover photo by Facet Photography. Makeup on front cover by Chantel Mckinney. Makeup on back cover by Red Star. Dress on back cover designed by Danielle Kelly.
ISBN# 978-0-615-24824-0
To Mums:
Thank you for giving my life purpose and meaning.
This book is dedicated to Demiqua, Danielle, and all women who need some motivation and guidance.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgement i
Introduction iv
SECTION: I - Change Your Mindset 1
Chapter One: Know What You Want 2
Chapter Two: Make a Wish List 18
Chapter Three: Do Your Research 38
Chapter Four: Fake It Until You Make It 52
SECTION: II - Play the Game to Win 74
Chapter Five: Strategize and Execute 75
Chapter Six: Drastic Times, Drastic Measures 95
Chapter Seven: Don’t Get Caught Up 126
Chapter Eight: Shame on You! 144
SECTION: III – Take Control of Your Destiny 181
Chapter Nine: Bring Your Stocks Up (literally) 182
SECTION: VI - Who Is Baje 204
Chapter Ten: A Diamond in the Rough 205
FORGET EVERY THING I SAID! 224
BONUS INSERTS 228
Testimonials and Letters 229
Thoughts on the Dr. “Dill” Show 235
Dear Mom 243
Acknowledgements
First of all, I want to thank God who has pulled me through so many situations that could have broken me down, some of which my closest friends know nothing about. Secondly, to my grandmother Syble Dixon, I want to thank you for instilling strength in me. As a teen I could not understand your way of doing things but now as a woman I realize that you only tried to protect me and steer me in the right direction. Your tough love made me a self-sufficient woman. I spent more time with you than I did with my own parents; you are and will always be my backbone. Since I began writing this book you passed on but you will never be forgotten. You are cherished.
To my parents, life doesn’t always go according to plan but I know that you both did your best. Daddy, I was such a rebellious teen, it’s amazing how forgiving you are. Now that I’m a woman with responsibilities of my own, I learned to truly appreciate the sacrifices you made. I love you. Mom, you’re no longer here physically, but I know you’re here in spirit. I will never meet another woman so ladylike and so humble. You are deeply missed, but I know you’re in a better place.
Mr. James Cannon (my mentor), you came into my life when I needed someone to cheer me on. This book was merely an idea but because of your constant motivation and encouragement, what began only as an idea is now a product. Thank you for believing in me just as much as I believe in myself. I can still hear you say, “You can do it Sweetie!”
Annetta Bryant, since the moment we met I’ve been drawn to you as if you were a missing piece of my life. You took me under your wings and gave me strength when I needed it the most. You are such a nurturer. I got accustomed to making my own decisions and fending for myself so it was a huge relief to have you to help steer my life. You are a mother to me.
To the most important person in my life, I call you “Mums”. We met for the first time four years ago and you changed me for the better. Because of you my life has meaning. Your photo lives in a lavender frame on the nightstand by my bed; it’s the last thing I see when I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I wake. It keeps me strong and focused, and it’s a constant reminder that failure is not an option. I have to make sacrifices now because I can see the bigger picture but never doubt how much I love you.
Special thanks to Johnny Mack (Writer for the Stars) and Kwaku Agyapong Jr. (President of BajeFanClub.webs.com) for your coaching, advice and male perspectives. Thanks to Noble Coban (Manager), Lemar J (photographer), Mike McKoy & Ahmed Almodovar (Marketing Team). I can’t forget David Hawkins (Bodyguard/Chauffeur), you are quite a character; thanks for your services and constant motivation because I couldn’t have carried out this task efficiently without you.
If I had to list some of you by name it would be a page long. What the heck…you all deserve it. Thanks to Jinae Monroe, Debby St. Louis, Able Hernandez, Craig Alan, Willet, Una, Herman, Hayworth, Tony, Jacqueline, Justin, Alma Fletcher, Keisha Robb, Joanne Theodule, Tasha Williams, Bryant Aleem, Alonzo Phillips, Magic City, Andy Holguin, Dexter Murray, Michael Donaldson, Yami De Jesus, Van Silk, Tony Wilkins, Roger Stone, Nasheka Harper, Chris Phashion, Rasheed Jones, Biz, Tony Mateo, Paulemele, Sophia Jones, Pablo Who, Sean Cummings, Paris Hilton, E40, Conroy, Carl Thomas, Evens St. Preux, Kevin Watson, Benji Brown, Tight Mike, Haitian Fresh, K Slay, Formula, SBK, Yvone Banton, Tony Mateo, Melisa Morrison, Rose Lewis, Marcha Thompson, Shayla, Donna, Davon Crawford, Stan Verrett, June Gooden, Evans Starke, Simply Jess, Craig Huey, Richard Franklin, BeBe, Emerson Lopez, Wayne Freeman, Ezra Masters, Leo Marshal, Larry Mace, Lee Nelson, Paula Benjamin, Arthur Braddy III, Bridget Butler, Horace Madison, Robert Clark, Anthony Allen, Anthony Truss, Michelle Myers, Eric Touzalin, Miss Ena, Shirley, Sonia, Betty, Alex Burns and all those who I’ve met along the way who’ve allowed me to let my voice be heard, lightened my load by lending me money, giving me a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, words of encouragement and even a place to lay my head. Because of what you all have done for me I have a weakness for helping the underdog, (including battered women, the homeless and foster kids). Thanks for all who believed in me and shared my vision, especially with this book.
Introduction
…Life Lessons
You have the power inside to live life as you see fit. Don’t allow anyone to take that God-given right from you. No amount of money, fame, or prestige is worth a life lived only to please others. No one can make the right or wrong decision for you; your answer lies within.
About
two years ago I came across a “tell-all” book that caught my
attention. It was about a woman who resorted to having sex with guys
to make ends meet. This story stunned the world because all the
subjects she wrote about were high-profile celebrities. Her story
disturbed me as it did everyone who read it, but it weighed on my
mind for another reason. I wasn’t so much stunned as I was
saddened. I was sad because the life she lived wasn’t as uncommon
as the world thought it was. The entertainment industry moves at an
accelerated speed. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen and
celebrities have money to buy whatever or whomever they want; the
outcome can be devastating. The effects are intensified when
judgment becomes cloudy because drugs and alcohol are added to the
mix. The only thing uncommon about her story was that her subjects
were all people that we knew and loved. The truth is, there are many
more women with similar stories – maybe
on a smaller scale, but nevertheless similar.
There are a lot of women (young and old) who don’t know their self-worth. How could they when statistics show that at least 50% of marriages result in divorce and a great deal of children end up being raised in dysfunctional or single-parent homes? We have seen the effects on society from boys who were raised without fathers, but what about the girls? When there is no male present in the household, who preps her for what’s to be expected from the opposite sex and who teaches her “the game” from a male’s point of view? Who will set the bar high by being the example of how she should be treated?
In my interviews with women, I’ve discovered that in 80% of homes where the fathers were present, there were also invisible barriers that prohibited them from talking to their daughter about sex. I’m not just talking about elementary sex education. Girls need to know the emotional damage that may lie ahead by giving themselves to someone undeserving, so it’s pertinent that they are taught what type of guys to avoid. Young women need to know what behaviors are expected from “players” so when presented to them, women don’t only recognize them, but avoid them. Young women need to be taught how to plan ahead, so if they’re ever in a compromising situation they don’t just react, but instead respond efficiently. Some would say that most parents have failed, if you disagree then take a look at the rate of teenage pregnancies, abortions, single moms on welfare and the overwhelming rate of STDs. Unfortunately, because of AIDS, you can lose just one round and be put out of the game…for life.
We as women sometimes sell ourselves short. We know that he hardly ever calls, and when he does it’s late at night; yet we accept the lies or make excuses for him while we look the other way. We sometimes put up with so much and give too much of ourselves to the wrong people because we are trying to fill a void within. Some of us are so afraid of being alone that we’d rather have anyone in our lives, even if they’re pessimistic, emotionally exhausting or abusive. Some of us have allowed our self esteem to be beaten so low that we think we don’t deserve the good things that come our way; I’ve heard many cases of women substituting Hallmark cards with their bodies. I spoke with numerous women who admitted to having sex with guys - not because they loved them, not because they’re attracted to them, but because they felt obligated because the guy paid a bill or bought them something nice. [Reluctantly] “Girl, he paid my car note this month, so now I’m going to have to give him some.” What part of the game is that? Whatever happened to a “thank you” card?!
It’s time we stop going along with the flow. No more hanging on for the ride, it’s time we grab a hold of the wheel and steer our own lives. We must map out the route and decide our destination. In all aspects of life: we can’t just accept what we’re given if we’re not satisfied with it, and no more “putting out” because of guilt. A lot of us don’t realize our potential or the power that we possess. In a nation where women are allowed to do amazing things like vote, voice opinions, and have equal opportunities in the workforce, there is no excuse to use sex as barter. A man can earn the money that he gave to us back, but we can’t get back the part of us that we gave to him. We are precious, we deserve the best, and we have the power. We shouldn’t be tempted to break our rules or bend our standards because we don’t have to. We don’t have to have sex to be sexy because confidence is more than enough.
We have the greatest thing that men want unless they’re homosexuals. Even then, a lot of them try to imitate our feminine essence. Men work on our terms and on our time. Never forget that. Most of them will do anything for IT. How many guys have lost their best friend because they lived out a scene from the movie “The Best Man”? You know the scene I’m talking about: when Morris Chestnut (the groom) beat up Taye Diggs (his best man) because he found out that Taye slept with his fiancée. Mythical or not, one of the greatest wars between two nations was because of a woman (Helen of Troy); even the Bible showed us the power that Eve had over Adam. Many politicians have fell victim to call girls and even interns. Many guys have gone broke because of the “booby trap” (strip club) and countless fellows have lost their wives, careers, and their freedom. We didn’t make them the way they are, but by analyzing them we can capitalize. Physically we aren’t stronger than them, but we don’t have to be because we were born with built-in artillery; we possess the art of seduction. Yes, we can weaken them with our curves, and our words, but the effects last longer when we do so with our minds. Plan ahead, do your research and follow through. Getting their financial favors for sex is easy, getting them without having to give IT up? Now that’s the challenge.
When I first disclosed the idea of writing this book, I was alarmed at how many people asked me if it would be a “tell-all” because that simply isn’t my forte. I don’t want to be a successful author if it means putting everyone’s business and inner-most secrets out there. Betrayal and breaking up homes aren’t options for me. My motive for writing this book is so that women can benefit from the shortcuts I’ve discovered and even my very own shortcomings.
IN THIS BOOK I’LL COVER:
The Wish List
Ways to Make $
Golden Occupations
Simple Makeover Tips
Looking in the Right Places
Subjects to Get Educated In
The Ten Steps to Success
How to Dig Safely
How to Stand Out
How to Get In VIP with Ease
How to Delay the Sex Discussion
How to Administer the “Cheap Test”
How to Memorize His Phone Number
“Friday” Technique
“Subliminal” Technique
“Double Up” Technique
“Teamwork” Technique
“Identifying” Technique
“Stick & Go” Technique
“Categorizing” Technique
“Invest in Self” Technique
“Dumb Down” Technique
“Island Hopping” Techniques
And many more shortcuts to getting what you want.
THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER
COVERS:
Webster’s Dictionary
definition of Gold Digger
Baje’s definition of a
Gold Digger
Baje’s definition of a
GOAL Digger
“Categorizing” Technique
SECTION: I
Change Your Mindset
Chapter 1
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
…Knowing is Half the Battle.
Knowing what you want is a very important lesson because it will direct you where to look and determine exactly what you are seeking.
Not so fast…
If you skipped over the introduction, please go back and read it thoroughly.
Know What You Want
Heed the wisdom that others have poured into you. You can save yourself time, energy and heartbreaks if you listen to others and learn from their mistakes.
With a combination of experiences, instincts, and street smarts, you can be a step ahead of the game. So read and learn. Some things you may or may not agree with. Use what you need and leave what you don't. When you’re finish reading, I hope you will feel that you have gained some useful knowledge that you can use in your everyday life. Go get it girl!
Life is about challenging yourself and going after the things that most people only dream about, whether they are materialistic or personal achievements. You live life to the fullest when you realize that it’s not about settling, but rather constantly setting GOALs and pursuing them. My GOAL is to empower and encourage you. It is possible to obtain all that you want, but you have to be focused and never lose sight of yourself. When you know who you are, you are not easily swayed.
You can get what you want and be what you want without sacrificing your body. This book is about accomplishing your GOALs without compromising. It’s about maximizing your potential, embracing your confidence, and owning your power.
What is your ultimate life GOAL?
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Is your immediate GOAL to get married? If so, you just bought the wrong book Honey! This book isn’t about waiting for Prince Charming to come and rescue you. It’s about rescuing yourself, by recognizing opportunities, and thinking outside the box, so ultimately you’ll be able to pave your own way. It’s time to command CHANGE. No more settling, no more accepting the crumbs we’re given. I wrote this book for women who are tired of seeing guys walking around with their chests puffed out high as if they’re our bosses. Tired of seeing guys rub their hands together when they speak and give us the nod from across the room like they're some sort of players. The type of guy who will throw a couple of dollars in the air claiming to “make it rain,” just to get satisfaction from seeing women, I mean girls, scrambling on the floor to pick up singles. These players think they’re so smooth and just know they have us all figured out. Well, the tables have turned! Welcome to the new millennium.
Webster’s Dictionary Definition of Gold Digger:
Part of Speech: noun Definition: opportunist Synonyms: bloodsucker, exploiter, leech, parasite, sponge, user; also known as a woman who associates with or marries a rich man in order to get valuables from him through gifts or a divorce settlement.
Baje’s definition of Gold Digger:
Gold Digger is a phrase coined by guys to be used as a method of reverse psychology on women. However, women also use it against each other in hopes of keeping the other down. A term created so women expect less from the male species and experience episodes called: “guilt trips” if they dare suggest that anything related to finances is expected from the opposite sex; a derogatory term which many women have bought into and been bounded by…until now.
Baje’s definition of GOAL Digger:
A GOAL Digger is a female that utilizes her surroundings to the maximum to achieve her GOALs and better her life.
A GOAL Digger is an individual who knows what she wants out of life and isn’t afraid to think and step out of the box to make her dreams into a reality. She’s a risk-taker. A focused, self-sufficient, self-driven, and GOAL-oriented individual who is committed to success; for her, failure is simply not an option. A woman who will not fall for “game” and won’t hesitate to utilize those suspected of being a hindrance to the GOALs that have been set.
…I Have a Dream
You have a dream. It's been planted in your mind for years. Hopefully it's deeper than obtaining materialistic things. Maybe it's making your voice heard, losing weight or finishing school. It might be excelling in your career, helping others, teaching others, or providing for your family. Whatever it is, the time to bring that dream to a reality is NOW. You live only once. Live your life fully by embracing your GOALs and going after them. Our dreams are what separate us from the next individual, but most people don’t have the fortitude to go against societal norms. The few who were strong enough to do so were the ones who made it in the Hall of Fame, became Stars, Icons, Idols, Leaders and Presidents. Don’t allow non-believers and dream-killers to stop you from claiming the life that you are destined to have. You are a dreamer like me, I believe in you.
I summed up my experiences, and the advice of others that I’ve met along the way who wanted to see me succeed. I want to be in your corner cheering you on the way those close to me cheered for me. I'm providing you all the secrets I discovered, saving you time and energy so that you can get to your financial destination in half the time that I did. So before you turn another page, get a sheet of paper and a pen because it's time to start planning your future. As you read, write down the most important points to you so that you don't forget them.
One day I made a promise to never settle for less than I deserve and I kept that promise.
What’s Your Promise to Yourself?
_________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.”
Lesson: #1. All money isn’t good money. If a guy will give you money but you are sure that he’s the type to “kiss and tell,” then don’t even deal with him.
If he will discuss with others what he has done to you, or for you, then he’s just not worth your time. You don’t want a guy like that because other people will know your tactics and your strategies may become less effective. In other words: it can kill your game if your angle is already anticipated.
There are too many women “screwing” their way to nowhere. If a guy is that much of a low life that he requires you to sleep with him before he works with you, then who is to say that he will keep up his part of the bargain after? I feel obligated to share with women some of my experiences (both good and bad) so they can guard themselves against making life-altering mistakes.
Lesson: #2. Dropping hints only works 20% of the time.
When I was young, I had a naïve way of thinking so I dropped hints around guys. I said that my hair was a mess or I would let them know I couldn’t talk on my cell phone too long because I was over my minutes. I found that 80% of the time that approach didn't work. It just left me feeling frustrated because I realized that most guys are cheap by nature. They would pretend not to hear my comments because they really didn’t care anyway! Now I flat out ask for what I want. If my request is denied, I simply leave right then and there. I leave just after I delete their numbers from my phone (right in front of them) or I give them back their business cards. Once a number is deleted, there isn't a darn thing they can do to get it back in. The important thing is that I don't get upset, because I know that I saved myself the guessing work. I get straight to the point so I don't waste my valuable time. After all, time is money.
Lesson: #3. If it is difficult for you to ask for something, there are two great inventions called email and text messaging.
To get the best results, I’d suggest asking face to face. It will be even harder for him to tell you "no" if you are in public, so don't be too shy to ask him for things in the presence of other people. If you decide to ask through a text message, then send him a sexy picture mail right before you pop the question and watch how the likelihood of him giving you what you want shoots through the roof. Just make sure it’s not a nude or incriminating photo.
Once you ask for what you want, most guys will grant you your wish (if they have it within their budget). You may ask why that is. It’s simply because they want what you have and if they tell you “no” then there is a big chance that they won’t get it. Telling you “no” would mean that all the money they spent on dinners, movies and courting you in general would have been for nothing (so that isn't a smart move on their end). Over the years, I found out that it was the broke guys that would ask questions like: “I just met you and you want me to take you shopping?” Yet it would never be too early for them to sleep with you, right?
Guys aren't mind readers. When you start telling them what you need and start asking for what you want, you'll be surprised at how much you're able to get out of them. There is a technique that I’d suggest you use when asking for things because even though most guys have one-track minds and are easy to figure out, they often fall into the following categories.
“CATEGORIZING” TECHNIQUE
Lesson: #4. If you use the wrong technique on the wrong man, you will get nothing, so make sure you categorize them correctly.
Type A
Most guys fall under Type A (Joe Shmo). Most Type A’s have been in a few relationships and may have been burned previously. As a result, some are extremely cautious about giving money to a woman in fear that she may run off soon after. In addition, most Type A’s are average fellows that work nine-to-five jobs and may be living from paycheck to paycheck. Chances are he's not going to be able to give you the full amount you requested. So in order to get the amount you desire, you’ll have to ask at least three more guys. If you did your research thoroughly and selected the right individuals, between all four guys you should meet your GOAL. With this type you can flat out say something along the lines of: your rent is due on the first of the month, it is $800, and you need help paying it, can he help you. Even though it's direct, you still want to leave him with some dignity, so don’t be rude about it. The bad news is that with a Type A fellow, there is a only a 30/70 chance of getting what you want, because even though he may want to contribute to your cause, his fears and finances just may not allow him to. The good news is the sooner you ask him for something is the sooner you’ll see if he’s in the 30% or 70% and you can evaluate the situation proficiently.
Type B
Type B (Captain Save-a-“Ho”). Most type B’s are older, (some even retired). This type of guy wants to feel like he is needed and has a purpose in life. He may be a guy that is longing for a family, but he has no children of his own or a guy who has succeeded in most aspects of his life and is now looking for a new “project.” You can say something along the lines of: it's so embarrassing that you even have to ask for a favor of this magnitude because you are independent, but this month you ran into some unexpected things and can’t afford to pay the rent. Tell him that you waited to the last minute to even mention it because you thought you would have figured out a way by now, but is there any way he could possibly help you. As soon as he agrees to give you what you want, make sure to start smiling - because smiles and giggles is what this type thrives on. With a Type B fellow, there is an 80/20 chance of getting what you want, because he feels the need to rescue the damsel in distress. The good news is this type has a tendency to keep commitments, so if he agreed to do something for you, he more than likely will. If you have a problem with aged men, then the bad news is he’ll probably be considerably older than you.
Type C
Type C (The Sucker). A Sucker can come in any age range or income bracket. He yearns for a woman’s attention, whether it’s good or bad; for some odd reason he works better under pressure and doesn’t mind being told what to do. Maybe he was a late bloomer and the girls rarely paid him attention, maybe he has a lot of siblings and didn’t get enough attention as a child. Most Type C’s have just been through a divorce or are in the process of getting one. You’ll more than likely find this type of fellow in a place where he has to pay for attention, like a strip club. FYI: Most strip clubs don’t allow women entrance unless they’re accompanied by a male, because most women don’t tip other women. So if you plan on scouting at a strip club, then bring one of your male friends to tag along. With Type C, simply say something along the lines of: this is my life, and I choose to live it the way I want to. If you aren’t doing something to make my life better then you’re simply making it worse. I have no patience for cheapness, so if you don’t give me what I want, then the next guy will. My rent is due today. Are you going to pay it or not? When you come across a Type C, never make him feel like he is in control by asking for his permission; just tell him what you want. Out of all the types listed, this one is set in his ways the most (which is a good thing for you). More good news is that with a Type C fellow there is a 90/10 chance of getting what you want. The bad news is that most wealthy men don’t fall in this category, because it’s impossible to accumulate and maintain wealth by being a Sucker.
Type D
Type D (The Dic-tator). Only 5% of guys fall under this category. Usually Type D’s have money and have decided to set up a defense mechanism to protect it. Most Type D’s have been divorced…without a prenuptial agreement that is. Type D’s are all about independent women. With Type D’s, the woman who asks for something gets nothing, and the woman who asks for nothing gets everything. With this type, just know that you’re not going to get anything overnight; you’re going to have to be in it for the long haul. If you are willing to dedicate some time to work on Type D, then set a time limit prior. If you haven’t met your GOAL by your deadline then you have to be strong enough to walk away. You are in a world of trouble if you mistake a Type E for a Type D.
Type E
Type E (The Con-Artist). A man who reads this book and is trying to outsmart you by telling you he’s Type D (so that you don’t ask him for anything).
None of the types listed is permanent. Just because a guy is Type A today doesn’t mean he can’t go from A to D in a few months or years. Types can change drastically with a pay raise or promotion. So it’s important that you constantly assess your targets. Note: Others may fall into categories that aren’t listed above. If you come across a guy with a hustler’s mentality or if he’s on top of his game and knows your motives, then there is no use to butt heads. Just quietly move along to the next target.
… Learn to get straight to the point
Frankly, I am tired of the repetitive “dinner and a movie” thing. So the worst thing that a Penny Pincher can ask me is: what do I want to do. It will be a loss for him because my answer will be:
“I want to go shopping.”
Good luck to him trying to see me a second time if he dare says “no.” There are more important things that I could be doing, like working on somebody else or catching up on sleep. Numerous times I’ve been asked:
''So in order for a guy to get with you, he has to spend money on you?"
And my answer will always be:
“I’m not for sale.”
Because I know that he’ll spend his money on me and still get nothing in return.
Lesson: #5. Never apologize or justify anything. When he sees you as an authority figure, he’ll be more compelled to give you what you want without asking questions or second-guessing you.
Every time you say that you are sorry, you hand over your power. If you arrived late, there is no need for apologies because he’s lucky that you showed up in the first place. Don’t forget to mention how busy you were and how much you had to put aside to meet with him. Guys feel so special when they think you put time aside just for them. If you quoted him a price for an item and when you both got to the store it was more than you expected, it’s not your fault. If he went behind your back and tried to gather information about you and found out something that he didn’t want to hear, you still don’t owe him an apology because he should have been respecting your privacy in the first place. Never let him forget that. The usual “I’m a grown woman” response usually puts him back in his place. Training him should start early. You can’t hesitate to put him back in line the second he steps out otherwise he’ll continue to test the limits. You shouldn’t feel bad about putting him in the doghouse when he messes up, because he will be more willing to over compensate with gifts when he is feeling guilty. Don’t be afraid to send him to voicemail, or say that you are tied up at the moment, and you’ll call him later. Let him marinate and think of ways he can buy his way back in. Guys are never too old for a time out (T.O).
THE NEXT CHAPTER COVERS:
“Double Up” Technique
“Stick & Go”
Technique
“Invest in Self”
Technique
“Teamwork” Technique
“Island Hopping”
Techniques
The Wish List
Chapter 2
MAKE A WISH LIST
…Naughty Is In, Nice Is Out.
All items on your Wish List must translate into GOALs. These items should only be tools that will aid you and your loved ones in achieving the ultimate GOAL: a self-sufficient lifestyle (financial freedom).
Make aWish List
Write down all the things that you want, necessities first. It may be as small as your monthly bills. Make sure to prioritize and itemize your expenses because soon you’ll have to match the item up to the man. Don’t be apprehensive to ask for the pricier items even if you think that he cannot afford it, because you may be pleasantly surprised. “Shoot for the moon and if you fall short you’ll land among the stars.”
“DOUBLE UP” TECHNIQUE
This technique is an easy one, once it’s introduced to you. Always ask for more than you need, because chances are he’s going to try to negotiate with you. If you need $1 to buy something, tell him it cost $2 because he’ll more than likely say that he can only afford $1…perfect. It is a win-win situation (for you anyway).
I actually discovered this technique on accident. I had a Sugar Daddy (SD) a few years ago. Everything I asked him for I got…he even had my bank account number stored in his records so it was on hand whenever he needed to wire me money. He was such a good boy. Then all of a sudden I noticed a change in his behavior. Whenever I would tell him that I wanted some money, he would tell me that he could only come up with about half of what I asked for; I quickly found a solution for that problem. I started doubling up. So if something cost $450, I would simply tell him it cost $900. When he took me shopping, the cashiers in the stores had jealousy written all over their faces. I remember on one of our shopping sprees while I was trying on outfits in the fitting room I overheard one of the store employees talking to him. When I got out of the fitting room, I asked him what they were discussing. He said that she asked him if I was his daughter or were we related. I guess she was shocked to see him spending all that money on a woman half his age. When I was ready to cash out I told her that he was my daddy, Sugar Daddy that is. I smiled at her, grabbed my bags, and went on my way.
“STICK & GO” TECHNIQUE
Lesson: #6. Avoid promises at all costs. A promise is a technique that guys use to ensure you’ll stick around.
Let’s not get greedy; you have to know when to stop otherwise you’ll fall into the Carrot Trap. It’s like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey so it will keep walking. Do NOT fall for that! If you do, then you are sure to end up getting screwed…literally. Tell him that the future isn’t promised so you live for now. Get one thing on your list, cross it off and do the “Slip-a-Roo” (move on). Give yourself bonus points if you kill more than one bird with one stone, but I highly recommend to never stick around for item number two because if he really wants to give you a present, there’s no time like the present.
Create a short-term and a long-term list. The short-term list would probably be paying for a few college courses for that semester. The long-term list would probably be paying off college, getting the down payment for a house, or even hitting the goldmine (paying it off completely). We live in a world where the possibilities are endless, so aim high. Do not underestimate The Power of the PEN. Write down everything that you want on a sheet of paper and post it up in your home so you’re constantly reminded of your GOALs. If you're very ambitious you may need a few sheets. Before you know it, you will have crossed off all your items on the list. Ladies be careful though, one time I left my list laying around and a guy that liked me saw it. Listed on it were all of all the things I wanted from guys, including him. He picked it up and asked: “Who is this for, Santa Claus?” Good thing his name wasn’t on it.
Lesson: #7. Make sure that all the items on your list are essential in accomplishing your GOALs, so you’ll be able to continue making money after you give him the boot.
“INVEST IN SELF” TECHNIQUE
Lesson: #8. By having expensive or expensive looking items, you attract an expensive crowd.
Have your target contribute financially towards you furthering your education, (that way you can secure a decent career and make your own money even after he’s no longer in the picture). A laptop would be an ideal item for your list because you can use it for work or school. If you are a make-up artist, have him take you on a shopping spree at the make-up store because you can always do makeovers for other people and get paid. I won't scrutinize you for a few brand name items, because unfortunately we live in a world where you are judged by how you look, what you drive and what you wear. In doing so, it’s important to not go overboard and remember that purses, cars, and shoes are not the GOALs. They are only tools of the trade that will aid in getting you closer to your GOAL; they don’t have to be the newest models or the latest editions, just something shiny, slick or bold enough to make a statement will do because they depreciate. Make sure they don’t become habit forming collector items because they’re considered liabilities, not assets. I’ll explain the difference in Chapter Nine.
“TEAMWORK” TECHNIQUE
Some women don’t want to help each other out for fear that the other woman might outshine them, but if we all work together then we all can accomplish more. Two shovels are better than one. We just have to remember to help those who helped us out.
Lesson: #9. If you have a girlfriend that is also a go-getter then you both may be able to work together, so compare notes and exchange ideas.
It was early March, and just a day or two before my birthday when my best friend Chelli and I decided to go to the boutiques downtown. We were walking in the shopping district when my eyes caught a baby pink hand-knitted dress so we decided to go in the store for a closer look. I tried the dress on, it fell right above my knees, it had a low cut back and it hugged my body perfectly…it seemed as if it was made just for me. I didn’t want to take it off but neither did I want to spend $500. Reluctantly I took it off, but I had a plan. As we left the store I told the flamboyant cashier that I was going to find a guy to pay for it and I’d be back soon. He winked his left eye, snapped his fingers and said,
“I know you will.”
About five minutes later after stepping out of the store we walked past a chain of restaurants and were approached by two guys. I quietly whispered to Chelli to keep walking because those guys looked like they didn’t have any money (they both looked like thugs, they wore their pants extra baggy and one even had gold teeth). The first thing they asked us was if we wanted to grab a bite to eat. It’s not like we were on a time schedule, so we took them up on the offer ( just so we could kill some time until some bigger fish came along). Just as we finished our margaritas and lobster, Chelli opened the “digging” conversation like we planned and done so many times before. She said,
“Baje, you should get that dress you tried on for your birthday”.
I responded,
“Girl, I’m not supposed to buy my own birthday gift.”
Immediately one of the guys butted in, he asked how much the dress cost and I told him $500. I thought that he was going to change the subject from that point on but to my surprise he didn’t. The next thing he said was:
“Let’s go get it.”
Lesson: #10. Collaborate with people behind the scenes like store clerks; they’re the last people that your target would suspect.